The Day after Election Day

I woke up a little early this morning to check the interenet to see how things were looking. Well, the first headline I read is on CNN and it says "Bush confident in victory", then I go to MSNBC's website, which during the whole thing had said bush was winning, said, "Bush Wins, Kerry Concedes" Needless to say that made me upset. Then learning that the Oregon Public have banned gay marriage desturbed me. Overall this morning pretty much turned my day sour. So I get to school, looking forward to seeing my friends and we get our math test grades back from the test we took last week. Well, I had thought I did pretty well, turns out I suck at Calculus, I got a C on that sucka and that brought my solid A down to a low B since it was weighted so heavily. That dampened my spirits tremedously and further convinced me that I wanted to get away and not deal with the crap of daily life for a bit. I am just feeling pretty tired of every class and daily requirements. I am never going to use Calculus, why I am learning it. I am interested in things that I believe will be usefull, otherwise it seems like a waste of time.
Then I get to go home early so I can make it to my doctors appointment and the rest of the day went pretty well.

I spent the evening at the Uptons again; they are basically my second family and its great, they are really great. So Becky and I hung out for a while until Jeff got home, then she worked on more homework. Its pretty neat when you can just cuddle with someone in complete silence without having the silence seem awkward. Then I hung out with Jeff and we played pinball until he could beat my amazing score of 1.6 million points. Then we all hung out until I left for the night.

Life can get pretty confusing and today was one of those days. During the afternoon I wasn't sure what i wanted from anything, I have known in the past and have made decisions failry easily, but today I just had no clue. I had no clue about relationships, about the future, pretty crazy, I felt like a blob just flowing through life, and I want to enjoy it, and have it contain purposeful meaning and excitement.