Life, War, and Death

It's kind of funny how a day can suck, then certain people can make it amazing. Today pretty much sucked the first half of it, more than that, until about 8. Then after deciding I might as well go, I went to the Choir Concert and really enjoyed myself. Not only did I see the REP and Ben-Ben, I also saw Allison and Christine, and Nic and Paulina! Paulina is back and that's pretty exciting. I didn't even know the girl really, she's just an acquaintance, but she's rad and her being back is rad. The mood of the whole deal was high and I really had a good time. Allison is back from college and that pleases me the most.
I love talking to Jeff, we are pretty similar in our thoughts and tonight was just that. It was pretty cool.
I've noticed that I'm fairly independent of others. I don't feel the need to rely on other people, or make people happy anymore. Because as I've been noticing, it doesn't matter. If I want a miracle, I'll make it happen. If anything is going to change, it'll be because I did it. It's come with the loss of faith I think, or the acknowledgment that not much was there in the first place. I think before I always pretended to believe because it was never really strong. I never felt a direct connection with anyone and it made it really hard. And the fact I'm analytical by nature makes it hard, I need proof. So I don't know if I'm saying I don't believe in God, I just don’t know if it’s the same one everyone else does. I’m pretty sure something is there; I don’t think it’s possible for there to be such thing as we were made by chance. That just seems too unlikely.
I’ve also been thinking, because of tomorrow, of WWII. I’ve always thought more of it than any of the other major wars in our history, maybe second to the Civil War, but WWII is just one of the wars I really believe in. I sort of feel as though I’ve been born in the wrong decade and I should be there, or have been there. I wish I could have enlisted with those men, and fought that war for the country. These days I don’t believe in it. I don’t believe in the Iraq war, its all for oil. Our leadership is not great and doesn’t leave much to trust in. We’re on a steady decline in society. All around. We used to talk more eloquently, now its dribble. We used to be more classic beautiful rather than fake. Leaders used to be true leaders instead of faces. I agree with Ferris when he said, we’ve got it all wrong these days. Back in the day, WWII and such, leader meant, they led by example, did it first, went in to the battle first, and so on. Today its just a position. Leaders don’t act. All of this decline in society is even more reason to want to be in a different decade. I could have done well back then, I would have done better than now. It’s a shame its not how things are.
Also, on topic of war, with it comes death. And thinking about it, if I was a parachuter during war it’s very probable that I’d die. I’d like to imagine I could be the Hero type from the books we’ve read and the stories we’ve heard, and I am hoping with every part of my body that I could rise up to that challenge, but its probable that I’d be one of the ones shot before I hit the ground, or on the ground. And so, I’d accept it. Life isn’t a big deal, its usually taken way too seriously, and while I am in no way accelerated my death, I could accept it now. I’m not afraid I guess. It’d be a shame losing 90% of my life, but hey, things will go on. So in the time being I’m going to try to stay as long as possible here on earth, but when it comes, I won’t be afraid, I hope.