To the new stuff.....

Today was a day of music, and crappyness. It started out with most everything in my life not working, usually involving electronics, and that really upset me. I got pretty distraught and had a mini melt down in my room where I quit everything, and turned up the music really loud and listened to several bands for the next two hours or so. Then I unwound even more with more music and video games. That really helped as far as being stressed out and then I went to cut wood with Scott. Unfortunately the stupid rain showed up so we couldn't, so we ended up just hanging out until now.
I pretty much lied to myself, and others, beforehand by saying I'd stay in touch. I'm not planning on calling lots of people, of course there are the people I will be calling, I haven't had a chance to get together with most of them lately, but I want to in the upcoming weeks. I really don't even care anymore, I'm leaving, they're staying, or leaving elsewhere, it happens. I pretty much want to go away anyways, not just to U of O because that isn't far at all, now looking at this Guinness sweatshirt of mine, I want to go to Ireland even more than before. Too bad I won't be, unlike the words that had been exchanged between a certain individual and I said. Meh, I'm going to Deutschland, if I ever get my passport. I wasn't aware you can't pay by cash, and a license isn't good enough proof of ID. Oh well, I'll figure something out.
I owe my brother for the new music I've been listening to, I downloaded a program that I can transfer all his music from his Ipod onto my computer, so now I've got all his new music, like this band Elbow, a good band. I've got the House V CD with Ben Gibbard and Andrew Kenny, and Griffin House that Patrick had showed me but I didn't have all the songs. I'm definitely in a more soft sound these days. Acoustics or mellow rock stuff. There is of course Jack Johnson of whom I didn't like to begin with. When everyone was talking about him a year or two ago I didn't really like it and wondered what they big deal was and even when his new CD came out I thought he was overrated, but you know what? I was wrong; he is really good and makes good music. I like his stuff a lot. Radiohead is still in, but I haven't listened to everything else yet. It’s pretty awesome to think that these people have followers wherever in the world. I mean, this band Elbow, I'd never heard of them, but now I really like them and so now, they've got someone from little ole Hillsboro, Oregon who listens to what they work hard on. It's got to be a good feeling to have that sort of thing going on. If I knew people liked my music enough to listen to it, I'd feel pretty good, even if it was short-lived. Then there is a person like Elliot Smith who must not even realize it, because I like him a lot, but he died. I mean, if he knew I liked him, he probably would have stayed alive and felt something to live for, and I’m obviously worth living for. hahaha, I had to go with that, when I said the first part it sounded conceited to me, so there goes the rest.
Watch out if you've got a friend who is dating someone. If you hang out with them you'll feel left out. And it’s not something that they should feel sorry for you, or stop there cutesiness for, it’s just something you ought to avoid. You'll probably either feel like you're getting in the way, or it'll be a little awkward. But hey! there is always that little dog around somewhere, or the stuffed animals.
Also, I've realized once again something about my romanticism; I'm more like a good consultant than a good romantic. I can come up with these super fresh neat ideas, but I'd never do them, I'm too chicken to do them. It's like a guy who writes romantic novels, he lives through those probably, making up his fantasies or whatever they are, but never has anything like them. I could probably write a book on ideas that men with balls could carry out, but I will never myself do them. Despite what I said, I don't know that I want a girlfriend. At least, I can't see myself with one, it'd be so different. I can say I wish I had one, and maybe mean it, but when I think about it, the reason I don't make a move is because when I picture it, its not what I can see happening. I'd surely hope this would change, and of course I've met an exception or two, but I was usually too late.
Exceptions....There are exceptions to everything in the world. Except, as Jeff (he's the only one who'd ever think of this I am pretty sure) that there is no exception to the rule that there is an exception to everything. It'll make your head hurt, don't think about it, Jeff is a freaking ridiculous kid.
I only had planned on writing a short paragraph, then it changed to this long deal. Sorry if I bore you, but you don’t have to read it if you don’t want.