I'm an idiot!

Of all the stuff I said I wanted to do today I accomplished....none of it, imagine that. I woke up and it was raining, or about to, I actually woke up fairly early, like 9:15. I picked up my Grandma from her house in Orenco and brought her to our house. She liked my haircut.

Then Anneliese and I went shopping for her work clothes, she got a job at Office Depot. The dress code is black pants and baby blue button up shirt. We went to Plato's closet first; she found a shirt and a coat. I told her she looks good in pink awhile ago, she said she hates it, yet she still buys it and apparently now it’s growing on her. I was right from the get-go. Then we went to other stores, but the big news it Express has a huge ass sale going on and I'm going to go tomorrow and buy a whole bunch of new clothes. Actually, just about every store we went to had a good amount of clothes on sale; I'll stop by Banana Republic too. They both have nice clothes that look good. Shopping with friends is fun, today was quite a bit of that. Miss Koehler is quite the cool person. We went to Bella espresso and got probably the best hot chocolate I'd had in quite some time, and we got zucchini bread that tastes like a mixture of Pumpkin and Banana Bread, at least to me, but I tasted a Mango the other day and thought of a carrot taste, so don't go off my judgment. I don't really know what she thought of my haircut, I think it might be growing on me a bit; at first I didn't like it much at all. None the less, I will be keeping it for a few days.

I can't remember what I did afterwards. Sometime after that stuff I took my brother to get his glasses. He's a giant copy-cat; he bought a pair that are very similar to mine. He just knows I have impeccable tastes and wants to dress like me; it's not his fault that I'm so good.

I've become a clean-freak. I actually cleaned up the kitchen tonight. Not even asked to, I just said, "what the crap people? Clean up after yourselves!" And then I grew a goatee and turned into my dad. My goodness, I have picked it up off of him so bad, but the thing is, messes don't really bother me, its the fact that I have absolutely nothing else to do. When I'm bored I clean.

But I did watch Hostage tonight and that was a good movie. It was also pretty intense at a few parts, and I see myself as the youngest kid in that, if I were to be one of them. The oldest kid, my goodness, I wanted to freaking punch him out. He's such a terrible person, and the older brother wasn't that good to the younger one. I won't tell too much about it if you were to want to watch it later. But I got mad at that one kid, seriously I wanted to tackle him. I don't know why fantasy things get me riled. Maybe because its safe to get into that, because if it were real, I'd crap my pants and hide and be a baby. I haven't felt like very fulfilled lately, I want to do more, more cool stuff. I want to accomplish something, nothing I do is cool, recognizably cool. But why do I need to be recognized? That’s stupid, I'm conflicting with myself as we speak, I say one thing and mean another, or have thoughts and deny them. It's happened too many times, if I were strong I'd change it, but I'm weak sauce, and it'll stay the same.

I get so into music. I think I must be 100% fantasy person, all I do is dream, never to be in reality. With music I feed this, I can play a CD and lay in bed and just let go. I dream and let loose of anything that's be clogging my thoughts. I also tend to dream about fixing things in life, or doing things that, if it were real life, I'd never do. Dammit. I did have an interesting daydream where I had a few lip rings. I think they came up from my new haircut and how its not like me, which lip rings aren't. I should use fake ones and see how that'd look. Maybe I'll become a punk-face kid. No, I wouldn't like that, I like the clothes I have. I'm changing though, I can feel that happening and its not just appearance. It's thoughts, and friends, and everything around me. It's a lot to think about.

I manage to fuck everything up. I do that a lot too, lose lots of good things that way. Whats my problem?