Not so Final Farewell

Today was sluggish. I woke up after getting only 6 hours of sleep and basically slept through Calculus. I then went to StuCo and continued my sluggish state until afterschool when I got into making these fake candy bar boxes for the winter formal skit. I made some pretty realistic ones and for that I am proud.
Afterschool today was where most stuff happened. I stayed until about 5:30 at school to keep decorating, and then I went to Natalee's going away party. It's too bad she is leaving, she is a fun person. The party we had made me realize that I actually don't enjoy large groups. I like my small closer-knit groups a lot more. I felt out of place because I was not espeically great friends with anyone there who wasn't pre-occupied entertaining the other people. Then I left and watched a movie, When Harry Met Sally, a chick-flick, with Anneliese and came to the realization that I need to stop kidding myself. I need to stop any connection with cuddling or whatever because it only messes things up. Its turning out harder to say that do, but I figure it needs to be done. What I need is to stop moping about my girl situation. Anything I have with anyone right now is not a relationship and won't be, I won't have a relationship anytime soon but i want one really bad. I am tired of the crappy situation I am in. I wish, actually, I could just forget about liking girls and just enjoy lifes other pleasures, but that too is proving to be very difficult.