What the Heck?!

Today wasn't a great day. Firstly, I don't have a lot of stuff done in AP Government because I have procrastinated but I think I ought to turn everything in so there are no gaps, which means I have a lot of work to do. I have math due tomorrow and I don't have the sheet to do it with, not to mention I can't do math anymore, I do the same problem over and over again and keep getting it wrong. And all my relationships are weird again. I mentioned it before but it seems like things have changed with the people I was closest to before break. Jeff seems to find me annoying all the time and that I need attention all the time. Anneliese doesn't seem to acknowledge me, I barely get hello's out of her much less anything else. Becky and I are still in weird, can't seem to talk well stage, and so this is not helping my mood. So today I will complain, I am complaining, but whatever, I don't get why everything has to suck so bad.
Megan had a bad day too. She has been having a rough freshman year, and it brings up some good subject matter, which is why I will talk about it. She didn't make Glencoe's dance team, she didn't make point, and she didn't get callbacks for the musical. So what do you do in this situation? The adults chose to say, "well work harder and prove them wrong" You can't say that, it doesn't work. Other people say, "sorry, its their loss anyways" what does that do? do they even believe that? Or, which is probably the truth, they just are saying that to be nice. As far as the callbacks go people would say, "well that means you could have been perfect for a single part, or they want you to be ensemble" looking back you can see that the former is a one in a million occurrence, and the second is only a guess. There is really nothing to say. I can't say anything. I definitely feel really bad because she has devoted tons of time to dancing and all that jazz so how are you supposed to feel when you are told you aren't good enough? That is just sucky. I freaking hate cuts and that crap. It makes people feel shitty, then the people who make it usually make a big point that they did, they either say right out they did, constantly talk about it, or do both.
Why can't I quit life for a bit? Pause time and have vacation until I feel content with getting back into it. I just don't know if that would ever come. I think I might be one of those unmotivated adults who doesn't do jack. I keep talking about getting on top of things but if you havent already noticed I can't follow through on things well. Or rather, I don't. 2005 is a freaking crappy year so far. Lets go back to 2004 it was better.