This again?

Over the span of last night I dreamed, and by this morning I could only remember one. Jeff, Anneliese, and I were riding across America on our bikes and we stopped off at some canyon area, or at least a large cliff, to look over and see what was going on. I slipped on some loose gravel and Anneliese grabbed me as I went over the edge. She began to slip and Jeff grabbed her. I was hanging from Anneliese's arms, and she was slowly sliding off because Jeff couldn't get enough footing. When Anneliese got to be 7/8ths of the way over the edge, I looked at her and let go. I was completely peaceful at this time and knew that it'd be saving two people.

I've often dreamt of such things, and as it says on myspace, I'd like to die saving someone. Awfully dumb isn't it? I'd say it'd probably be the best way to go out; not only am I saving people, but I was completely at peace. I can only hope I would be like that in such a situation instead of panicking for my life and bringing down the rest of them with me. Bad, bad thought. I'd hate to do that.

I went to church for the first time in a long while and it just seemed so weird. It was my cousin's First Communion. The mass just felt so strange, it was a bunch of stuff written out for us to say as our own. "I believe...blah blah," it just doesn't feel like it means anything when you say it like that. Everyone has memorized the exchanges and doesn't even think about them I'm sure. And the priest was telling us what we believe; it’s just all very strange. Another thing that struck me was the priest saying that if we pray God and Jesus will listen, okay, then why when we have hundreds of people praying together for certain things does it not happen? What more do we need to do? We prayed for the sick of the community to get better and the injured in the war and such, but it's not ending. Every Christian in America does that sort of thing, but I just haven't seen results. I don't want to sound as though i don't appreciate/respect religions and what not; I just need to find faith on my own.

Jeff and I talked tonight about relationships and everything and it's getting back to where it was. I like the idea of having someone again, or at least cuddling with someone. I haven't done that in such a long time. The soft comforting pressure from the person right next to me, ah yes cuddling is amazing. The other night at the Koehler’s Mary and Kurt were on the couch and it made me really excited for when I get old enough to have a wife. I can't even describe how it was, just awesome. I smiled. Girls, I'm available...