Timothy, where have you been?

Music affects my moods quite easily. I've listened to Death Cab for Cutie, Jet, Coldplay and random other songs all sharing a common slow rock beat. That makes me feel tired and sluggish, and doesn't qualify me for a "good" mood.
Tonight is a different view on my girl situation, and I think these songs about love and such are influencing it. I went over to the Uptons house and I was trying to work on Math but I didn't want to. What I wanted was to sit by Becky and talk, and have that contact from the other night. I don't like these feelings because they just eat away at you for a long time. You can't do anything about it and it just sits there gnawing making you think about constantly. It's pretty useful because no-matter how blissful the thoughts, they aren't going to happen.
So I am sitting here, feeling absolutely no purpose to still be awake but I can't take the steps to climb into bed, i don't understand it. I am staying up late, feeling tired during school, and not performing well, so I need to go. I don't want to be here anymore. I really hope I can go study abroad within the first year of the architecture program, or at least in my Sophomore year. I really need to get away and do that whole self-exploration thing. I'll do that one of these days, and bring my guitar, assuming I'll get an acoustic by then, and write songs. Good songs, and maybe I'll sing enough that I'll get good. I am going to work at getting a job after school.
Little things can bring a whole lot of happiness.