Timbers game and more

Today was a good time, in the morning I worked for four hours doing stuff for Mr. Wendell. In the time Scott and I turned a weed-filled planter, it was like 20 feet long) into a nice looking, newly tan barked, planter.

Then Megan called and we went swimming at the Lindsey Pool which, no offense to Brent and his apartment is way better than Brent's apartment’s pool. The water was so warm and clear and deep, it felt like I was scuba diving again. I wish I could, I had such a good time with that. Maybe I could sometime, probably not though.

Then, in like an hours notice we fricking whipped out a plan for a few of us to go into Portland and see a Timbers game. My goodness, I haven't been living to my full extent! I need to go to every match of theirs. No where else is it acceptable, or even encouraged, to yell curse words, flip people the bird, or drink so much alcohol. These soccer matches are the shiznit. The crowd was so energized and trendy too! I'm pretty sure Soccer has the trendiest fans I've seen. But it was so much fun! I wish I knew all the cheers the fan section did so I could join them. I definitely want to get a scarf like the rest. Whenever an opposing team member fell down after being hit, they'd flip the scarves over to reveal, "No Pity!" Oh, it appears I can print out all the cheers off the Timbers Army website. And the scarves are only $8, very solid. So anyways, whenever the ref would call a "bad call" the entire Army would flip them off. It was so entertaining, and then when the goalie(theirs) would kick it off, the fans would be clapping, then when he made contact, it'd go, "You are an asshole" or something like that. Absolutely classic. I'll definitely have to make it to a few more this summer. If anyone feels the urge to join me, let me know.

Then Megan and I drove around for a bit. It's awfully hard to think of things to do spur of the moment that will last a good hour and a half. I probably ought to make a list of late night things; we seem to run into that problem often. Also, if anyone has any good reasonable ideas, let me know. Glow-in-the-dark Frisbee comes to mind, and star gazing, but that’s about it. Peace out. Cheers to a good day.

poop

So it appears Germany isn't going to happen, at least not as we had hoped. The funds are weak, and our not being hired anywhere isn't helping that. It seems we might try and fit it in September. It's incredibly unfortunate and disappointing. I guess a shorter trip will do, but it won't be as we planned. Despite the disappointment, it also screwed us for jobs, we told everyone we'd be leaving mid-August, and now that it won't happen, we could have worked at least through August. Dammit, I'm so disappointed.
There happened to be good news, Megan says I'll possibly get an interview with Old Spaghetti Factory working as a host, and apparently everyone there is nice and I'd be getting paid. I'd like it if I got that job. Heidi Uecker is pulling for me too. And now I'll be able to work longer and make a bit of money. I might as well spend every minute possible working. No need for a real life, not like I do anything anyways. Hangouts with Megan would probably be the social events of the week, not that they pretty much aren't already. I mean I hangout with Scott, but that’s like a Brother deal, not a big social thing.
F*Bomb! I wanted that. On a lighter note I read 80+ pages of Pacific Vortex last night. It is Dirk Pitt's first adventure, he's the guy from Sahara, the main character, and this book is really good. I'll go back to reading that, it'll make me happy. Bye

What BIATCH!

Yesterday my computer finked out, so I couldn't exactly do this, but to recap, so as not to miss a minute of my most, exceptional and exciting life, here it is:

I woke up fairly late in the day, my usual 11 o'clock or so, and had a lazy few hours spent on eating and getting ready. Then I began the long effort of deep cleaning my room. Deep cleaning meant vacuuming the corners of the room and around the moldings. Not to mention throwing away all the crap I've been collecting for the past year or so. I've decided that when I actually get to the beach for a large bonfire, I'll bring all four years worth of school work and whatnot, and burn it all, very symbolically as to rid myself of that chapter of life and begin anew next year. It looks nice now, not that it's a giant difference, its just less cluttered.

Then I did my best to save a frog. It was in my driveway, and when I got the word from my sister, she told me it had been there in the early morning when she was on her way out, but she figured it'd run away soon enough. Turns out it was hurt. It was bleeding from its mangled hands, or what would be hands if it were human. And I think an arm was broken because he kept it wrapped under his body. One eye was also different from the other. It looked at though the left eye had been popped because the right had a circular jelly-type thing on it, whereas the left didn't. And in front of that left eye it had a cm long gash, a big one for this little creature. I picked it up and took it inside to get it in a box full of water and vegetation to make a makeshift home. Then my grandma helped out and called the vet, pet smart, fish and wildlife, Oregon humane society, and a few other places to see what we could do. None knew, other than taking it back to the swamp by our house and letting it go on as it would in nature. A crappy deal for the frog, I hoped the doctors could fix it. So I took it back down to the wetlands, as near to the water as I could get without putting it in, for fear of it drowning; it didn't move the entire time, other than to open its mouth and breathe I guess. So it was alive, we knew that. I decided I'd check on it the next day, which happens to be today, and I did. When I went to the spot I had put it, I didn't see anything, nor anywhere near. This leads me to believe its okay; the optimistic view. Surely I could say a raccoon or some other animal came by and ate it, or moved it to their den, but I choose to believe it was okay, and after we looked after it, it moved around and will be back to normal in no time.

Throughout the day yesterday I had the strong urge to workout and/or wrestle. I don't know what triggered it, but I didn't do anything about it. Instead I said to myself I'd get out and do something today. Can you guess what happened?

I slept in this morning, to the same time, so I guess it’s not exactly sleeping in, just waking up late. It was 11 and I knew I should have woken up earlier. What could I do? I decided to start eating healthier and had a good solid breakfast instead of a weenie one like usual, or none at all. It's not that I eat poor food, I only divulge in sweets every so often these days, and after the campout I think I'm done for the next few months. But I just have bad eating habits. I don't eat square meals, and my snacks aren't healthy, they're granola bars and that sort of crap. I need to eat fruit and vegetables. And eat square meals. Then I work out.

Tonight I chopped wood. What a good feeling that was. At first I hated it, I couldn’t split any of it, and I felt über weak compared to Scott who would split it in a few chops. Then I got the hang of it, and used proper form and split it like a beast. And that’s where that tonight’s title came from. I'd pretty much yell at the wood when I got it. It felt so good to actually accomplish something. It was tiring, which I'm happy for. I haven't exhausted my muscle in forever, and they needed it I think. I wish I had trees that needed chopping or, neighbors that did. It's such a good workout, lots of heavy lifting and arm use, and its not hard tiring, it was actually sort of fun. So if you need your wood split and chopped down to firewood size, let me know, I'm game. This was at Hannah's, and tomorrow morning at 8, I WILL GET UP EARLY, we're going back to do other yard work. Mr. Wendell was such a smart guy, and he bought several houses around the area and rents them out. That’s what I'd like to do when I get the money, its such a solid investment. And it's something that you could have, spend a some good time making it really good, and then sit back, somewhat, have a good job going, and maintain the places and become rich. I'm going to do it to.

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day; I'm going to get some rest.

Bow-chica-Bow-wow

U of O isn't going to be UW; I have to remind myself of this. I've been thinking a lot, actually picturing but thinking is close enough, and I've been imagining what next year will be like. I've been seeing Scott and I in the dorm rooms, but I am only familiar with UW's dorms thanks to Jake, so I keep seeing those. And when I think we'll study at the library, I keep picturing the Bill Gates Library of UW. I need to stop doing this because I'm not going to UW next year with Scott, we're going to UO, and this kind of frightens me. Maybe I've been building up college as UW College, and in reality (the UO version) it could be way less cool, and not nearly as nice or comfortable. I can picture the days of Outdoor School where the cafeteria sucked, and the bunks were all worn and not appealing. I don't want that. I know it's a bit of a stretch, but I get that sort of, less than appealing feeling, when I think of unfamiliar places.

And situations. Not ODS, but whenever there is a new experience, an awkward, less than appealing image of the event pops up, and that’s what makes me shy away from such things. I like familiar things, but usually these new ones turn out.

Last night was good. Scott and I did a great job of hosting a small camp-out deal in his backyard. I'd say the company was pretty good, while it did have its conflicts. It's funny; you'd imagine when having such a small portion of people you could steer clear of such things. That part was too bad. But I can't deny I had fun. Because most all things like this section off, it wasn't unexpected for that to happen, but what was unexpected, was it didn't turn out to suck. I could spend time with each of the people, enjoying their company, then move to another and have a good time. How many could we have had you ask? Three, but that was max, it was usually two. And I don't honestly think that was to be rude to the others, just some people had interests in some things, and others didn't. The fire pit was nice. I liked it there. It's pretty amazing how hot the ambers/cinders, embers, whatever they are called were compared to the fire. When it had almost died out- the fire- I moved around some chunks of wood, and released big bunches of heat from the cinders and it was cool. I threw a dime in, lots of people threw lots of things into the fires, but I threw a dime, it got so hot that when I touched a stick to it, the stick caught on fire. Very cool.

It's just sort of unfortunate when people don't mind others, feelings/rules. It's happened more than just last night. Brent's gracious enough to open his apartment to us, yet a large portion of those involved don't respect his house. You can't do whatever you want, its someone else’s home, you should abide by their rules. But recently he's made actual rules. 3 of them, and don't break them, or I'm alright with helping him either kick you out, or kick your ass. I'm tired of that kind of thing. Like last night, as with most hangouts, there are the kids who try to be somewhat responsible, last night that was Scott and I. While others were being responsible, we had the house to look after, so we were more so. So when people don't respect that, its hard, and frustrating. I'd rather not have to nag others about not throwing certain things in fires, and it makes it even worse when people bitch about it. And the overall respect of others. It's rare, but some people just aren't respectful of other people, and then they get upset when you bring it up.

This leads me to....standing up for yourself or someone. It feels really nice. It feels a lot better than sitting around not voicing my disapprovement(not a word) of their put-downs. So, if you don't like what someone is saying, go ahead and tell them, you'll like yourself so much more for doing it. Just ask those who do. But be warned that others don't usually take kindly to it. And if someone voices it to you(opposite side), don't be a jerk, and if you can help it, don't say anything that others would feel the need to do that. That's best. But honestly, that didn't affect things too much, I still had a super great time.

Goodnight

I'm tired and don't feel like talking about too much.

Today Scott and I hung out, no surprise there. He's a rad guy, why wouldn't I want to do stuff with him? We went swimming twice, yard work, and Halo. Not to mention several good conversations.

I'm tired, and don't feel like talking.

like it's always been

My shoulder is still very sore from throwing Frisbee’s the other night and it’s become a pretty big nuisance.

This morning I woke up fairly early, around 8:30, but unfortunately that didn't last and I laid in bed, drifting from conscious to unconscious, until I finally decided to get up at 10.

Upon doing so I went downstairs to have the first good breakfast I've had in around a week. It always happens like this, I don't have a set schedule so I end up losing my eating habits and picking up bad ones, like not having breakfast, or not having a good whole breakfast. I definitely slack on lunch compared to during the school year, but dinner am about the same, partly because it’s not my choosing. I think most of this food stuff is because my other habits are changing, my sleeping pattern is out of whack, I am not nearly as physically active as I was during the year, and I don't think about food as much. My time is spent pretty ambiguously and I never really plan anything anymore than an hour ahead.

Today was a lovely day, the weather was very nice, and because of that, I felt today was a swimming day. Firstly Scott and his mom, brother, and I all went to Washington Square mall to shop for some clothes. David didn't get anything, although I gave him wonderful advice. But Scott and I did well for ourselves. He bought a pair of dress pants, jeans, shorts, a dress shirt, and dress shoes; I bought pants, shoes, and exchanged my polo for a smaller size, and because Nordstrom’s didn't have any in the same color my brother bought me, I got a black one. It looks pretty pimp.

So then we went swimming, Scott, Hannah, and I. We went to Brent's, of course. One of these days, we'll go somewhere else, but until another place is available, Brent's it is. It was a pretty nice evening for swimming and the water felt wonderful. I had a good time and it wasn't as third wheel like. And keep in mind, I did attempt at making it a solid 4 person party, but those attempts didn't pan out.

Then after a nice swim, I picked up Megan, and the four of us went to go see Batman Begins. At least, that was the intention. We got there about 15 minutes late and found there was another 15 minutes later, but Megan had to be home at 12, and that movie being 2.5 hours, would put us at nearly 1. This wouldn't work, and we were already late, so we went to Red Robin's had some drinks, then headed off to Mountaindale. If that place sounds familiar to this blog, its because its where Megan and I went on our date a few months ago. Once again the stars were incredibly bright, and the moon was amazingly gold. This time around it was even better, much more comfortable, and a very nice time. FYI, Scott and I both wore I new clothes, so we both looked dashing.

I must warn you, the new shoes I bought.....well...they're converse. I know! I gave in to the pressure of society and bought a pair. But! See, the pair I bought is quite unique, I think I might of only found one more pair in the Rack that were like it, and I've never seen anyone wear them. They're base color is a dark red, sort of wine reddish, then its got eggshellish colored stripes along with white and true red stripes. HERE---->
Trust me, they look good on me. And the fit of the pants is amazing, that’s what I love about Express and the other nice jeans, the fit is sooo good.

I had a ton of fun today, and even more tonight, I'll be doing it again soon.

When will my day come?

I absolutely hate it when you wake up feeling ill. Today, after getting to bed at 3:45 last night, I woke up at 9:00. Why that early you ask? Well, my sister had an orthodontist appointment that I had to take her to. Now this was one of the, you wake up too fast and get nauseas and feel like throwing up every time you turn your head, morning sicknesses. It was absolutely awful let me tell you, driving while under such circumstances blows. You are moving so fast and things are passing you and you can't help but noticing the churning of acids and your intestines rolling around in your stomach, and then there’s the feeling in your ears where you know that’s the source of the nausea and can feel something sloshing around up there. Goodness, most awful way to start the day.

I went to a temp agency for the real deal today. I'm going to get hired to a short-term job somewhere, hopefully.

I don't even know what more to say about today. I went to Jeff's and Anneliese came over and we played Boggle. That game is pretty fun. I must say. I also went, beforehand, to Evergreen with Jeff and threw some Frisbee. Now my shoulder hurts. I threw left-handed a lot. I'm still feeling somewhat ill and getting tired. I'm tired of thinking; I'm tired of feeling inadequate.

Oh, I never told you, I was up so late because I went and found some ish on the internet. This is was "Forte Clothing." These kids from Glencoe started this company and are so damn creative it pisses me off. They've created not only cool clothing, but a really nice website, and cool graphics, and advertisements. I feel completely untalented and uncreative. I honestly can't think of much I've done that’s original. In fact, basically everything I've created I've taken from other ideas or pictures. MUSIC IS SO HARD FOR ME. I can't be creative, it’s so very frustrating. I quite life for today. I want things to go back to bliss.

I want to know how my life turns out. I want to have a machine that will make me know everything will be okay. Hopefully it would be okay, because if they predicted something terrible, it would most likely have accounted for the fact I saw it, and therefore I couldn't change it, even if I wanted to.

The thing about this creativity deal is I was brought up scientific and mathematical, exact things, not abstract, where you can go anywhere. I hope that’s my reason, not just I'm incredibly untalented. And I want to change that, maybe I ought to go into a dark period where I use large amounts of substances and find something and make it work, then recover and continue the brilliance. Or just keep it going if it works. I need to be classically trained, yet have the abstract thoughts to come up with something great. I hate being precise and needing things to follow a path; it doesn't stratify anything to me. All I will end up with is a clean house, if I even get one, maybe a clean area under the Burnside Bridge. My corner will be spotless though, I'll be the cleanest bum and my signs will promote my cleanliness.

Celebrities have it of well, they get to experience things in life no average person can, or will ever. It's kind of a crappy deal if you think about it in life. Some people work so hard as janitors to support their family and don't have the greatness. And actors with a bit of training and a lot of luck get a superstar show that runs for a decade and makes them bank and they retire young and enjoy life and support a family. Two very different lifestyles and in the end, they both end up in the same place, where ever that may be. Why can't everyone have a good hand? Why do some people have to work so much harder than others to get the same? How do connections get you farther than experience? And I am an ass. I want it all to come easy, yet I complain about people working hard for their success.

I suck.

Not as good as yesterday, at least in the weather

Today wasn't nearly as nice as yesterday, it was overcast, and I don't like that.

It was a pretty slow day, maybe that weather change was it, but I didn't do nearly as much, or so it seems. I woke up around 11, as I previously stated to Anneliese and Jeff last night. I think I'd like to change that here soon, I'm tired of wasting the early part of the day, I'd love to get up like I did a while back and run at 6, play Frisbee golf around 8, then have the entire day to do whatever I wanted. Instead I'm a lazy bum and I've been sleeping in and wasting the beginning portion of the day.

After I woke up late I slumped around the house, doing nothing in particular until about 3. It was at 3 that I left the house to find a job, or at least go to a temp agency and get applications into them. Well, we only had one success, and we'll be going back tomorrow around 9:30 to get that squared away. While out and about I found my swim trunks that I thought I had lost; they were at Hawthorne in the lost and found. And while at Hawthorne we saw Evan Hiles, that lucky man has a job, a sweet ace job, selling food and drink poolside. How I wish I could have that sweet position.

Thus ends the Job search and begins the evening activities. We start out with Dinner at the Heter's. It was very nice out by then, the sun was somewhat out and it was fairly cool. We had grilled chicken, on a charcoal grill mind you, and that was absolutely delicious. They have a nice family, and you ought to get to know them. That David Heter is quite the pimp. We were walking down main street during Tuesday Market, our next stop, and he girls left and right he knew. I saw a girl I know. We kept on walking, and of course ate seeing as how that’s just about all there is to do at such an event. I had two scoops of ice cream; Chocolate Peanut Butter Chunk, and Cookie Dough in a cup. I am not a big fan of cones, they usual make a mess, limit the amount of time you have to eat your ice cream, aren't comfortable to hold, and aren't that great to eat. It is for these reasons I choose the less hassle cup where I can eat at my own pace, live carefree from worries of spilling the ice cream, and use a spoon. I like spoons.

I also like Watermelon, after the Market we went to Brent's house to play Halo and he had a giant bowl of it. I had three bowls full. I love Watermelon. But of course, after eating such a large quantity I had to restock the nearly empty large bowl. So I kindly cut up the other half of the juicy melon and then, since it was so juicy and made a mess, cleaned the kitchen. After all, we all probably ought to clean his house, we use it so much and the majority of the time he isn't even there. We also probably ought to restock his cereal and Jell-O. I found the secret to making Jell-O is the cool down. If you put it into the freezer and add a few ice cubes you can make it into the gelatin consistency within 30 minutes or so. I prefer the liquidy kind of Jell-O anyways, I don't like when its super firm and jiggler like. Either way, I usually end up turning it back into liquid form in my mouth.

I get a satisfaction from clean, while I don't need it to be there, it's nice to see the counter, or the desk. I think I'm sort of a simplistic type, I don't want much stuff around, of course it has to be livable and not completely empty looking, but I'd like to have my own apartment like Brent. I could see myself like that and it'd be pretty sweet. I'd get my dad, like him, to do the financial stuff involved, but make it a way sweet bachelor pad.

So I've got a play list going for softer easy listening types of songs to go. It's got some good stuff and I like listening to it at this time of night. John Butler Trio is in it, "Peaches and Cream" you should listen to that song of theirs, my brother suggested it to me and I'm happy he did. Then I've got "Carolina" from Ben Gibbard that I am especially fond of, also, I spoke about Griffin House before and he's good, I've got "Tell me a lie" on it. I don't really want to write out any more songs because I've got 35 in it, but its all good, trust me. Total Songs on my iTunes: 4861, and I just recently got that program to get music from Jake's iPod so I'll probably get another 2 thousand from that. Quite a bit of music, and sadly I don't listen to over a third of it. It's kind of a mood thing. I really ought to delete the stuff I don't ever think I'll be in the mood to listen, but I don't want it to be gone if I need it later. Say next year I have the urge to listen to more hard rock, or rap, well then I've got it here on my computer to listen to. Might as well have too much and be able to leave room for change than not and have to come up with new stuff.

This one is longer than most before it (2 pages)

While someone thinks so, I'd still be okay with being able to change the way I look. It's just something, assuming the technology was available, that I would do. I'd change quite a few things probably, but whatever, it’s not going to happen, so don't you worry.

Today was pretty fun. I woke up at a lazy 10 o'clock, got dressed and headed to Les Schwab to get my tire fixed. First off, I had absolutely no idea it was so nice inside that place, they've got chairs, tables, magazines, newspapers, then all the tire stuff to occupy your time with. It wasn't like the Jiffy Lube waiting rooms where its all grime-o and you don't know if its okay to touch anything, it was completely sanitary there and comfortable.

Then, the weather was absolutely lovely! Scott, Hannah, Megan, Matt, and I, then later Courtney, and Melissa all went down to Brent's apartment and swam. People let me tell you one thing, today’s weather was amazing, the perfect swimming weather, nice and warm and sunny and tanning. The water wasn't too cold that you were uncomfortable, but it was enough to cool you off. The company was great as well.
Then we went to the 7-11 by Burgerville, home of the slurpee's, and concocted an amazingly delicious mix of every flavor they had. That was tasty as all get up.
Then I mowed the lawn, and got more tan, and before that I had a nice little chat with Scott's dad. After all of that I hung around the house, cooling off, playing Halo, and somehow (I honestly don't know how this happened), but I lost to Dee dee. She is a girl and a 14 year old at that. How did she beat me? She cheated; shotguns always overtake SMG's. Anyways, I was a proud loser and drifted off to other activities that I didn't get frustrated with.

Then Anneliese calls within five seconds of me AIM her away message, fantastic turn around time. She comes over and Jeff joins. She is unlike any girl with her far different ideas and crazy beliefs. Of course that isn't really a negative its what makes her who she is and I like who she is, but tonight it drove me crazy! I don't understand at all her ideas and that’s very strange. She has this idea of kissing that I didn't get, and the misunderstanding continued through other conversations. But you tell me this, is the kiss I mentioned yesterday from the TV highly passionate and romantic, or completely sexual? And how do you decipher the difference between the two? What is romantic and what is sexual, and what are examples of them. She thought the kiss was sexual, I found it highly passionate and romantic. I'm a dreamer, she's a realist. That's where I fine little disagreements arise from.
Now don't think these are heated arguments, while I am passionate about my thoughts, I get more frantic perhaps is the word, I don't know, exasperated is even better. Either way, I don't get mad at all, it’s more out of fun, to talk about something.
It makes you think though, it’s sort of arguing for the sake of arguing, or disagreeing rather, arguments seem more negative. Either way, It’s usually what ends up being discussed, that or, hopelessly shallow attempts at being "deep" or so they feel. Its like, "well what really is...." Like we're discussing the meaning of life type of faux-deep. Either way it’s all entertaining and enjoyable. It's just different than anything I talk about with anybody else. I don't get into these thoughts or ideas, I talk about much more normal things with other people.
Here's one of the topics of tonight’s dialogue and it stems from the kiss debate; How do you show someone how much you care about them? My deal is, I can love people, like really care about them, but not be in love, and I can't really express it and get the satisfaction I want. I can say, "I love you" but I don't feel satisfied. I can hug, but that’s not enough. I haven't kissed, but it’s not really that sort of relationship, its only friends, so anything more isn't in the picture. So how do you do it? I can't say it, write it, or show it seems, and those are the only ways known to man. It’s frustrating not being able to express it in a way that satisfies me. I guess that part doesn't matter though. As Anneliese pointed out there are different ways of showing love, as says a book she's read/is reading, and if the accepting party is okay with what I'm doing, then they're getting it alright and despite my feelings, they're feeling loved. Maybe it’s the being loved back part that'd make it more satisfying.

This is tough stuff. Now I've read some old passages of mine and they seem for fun and better reading. My voice is far superior to this slush I create these days, and the vocabulary was much more exciting. I don't know what’s changed in these past few months but I'm not feeling as witty. Too bad.

Oh did I mention how lovely it was outside today?! It was amazing. Absolutely flawless skies of blue and bright glowing sun. It beat down on me just right, hopefully producing a fabulous REAL tan, not like the fake'n'bakers of our generation. While I may be more apt to skin cancer, at least I enjoyed myself in the process and don't pose like the others do. God it was lovely outside.

Ah! Another noticeable change of mine. People who said god like I just did used to bug me, like why is it necessary? It doesn't need to be there, but now I don't care and it is natural to say. I apologize if I offend anyone by saying it, but what can you do? Actually I could not do it anymore, but where is the fun in that, it’s like the people who ruin having schools celebrate religious holidays because of their solely different ideals. Somewhat ironic, my analogy and the topic of conversation. Anywho, I don't feel very religious these days, and I don't know what I think. Part of me is completely content and doesn't feel bad, the other part, mostly my caring of my grandparents feelings towards it makes me feel bad and as though I truly should want to be more so. I don't know what changed for me, I honestly can't even say what I believe in. To some I'm a terrible person for this, and to others I'm fine. To those who think I'm terrible, whatever I hate you anyways, stupid Whitie, Evangelical Christians, the type who are so hardcore they are hypocritical with their behaviors and can actually walk up to someone and say, "do you know you're going to hell because you're gay? How does that make you feel?" WAIT! WHAT?! No way!

I'm having to be very careful tonight to cover my tracks. Now I don't hate all religious people, not every Christian, not Jews, nobody specifically. The ones I hate are the stereotypical, southern, white, evangelical Christians, who are so hardcore it’s ridiculous. I only dislike them because of how strong their conviction is of others wrongs. I say, everyone is partly right, there is probably something up there that made things work out, but don't go hating others for their different beliefs, unless they give you reason like the people I've mentioned. I sound hypocritical myself, but I can't explain it well at all. In fact! I bet Buddhist’s are right, we're all going to find that out when we're dead.

Yep, I'd like that

My Dad is awesome and we have quite a good relationship. Today we drove down to Mac to play golf with my brother Josh. If I didn't suck up like two of the holes, I'd have done great, I'm getting better each time, and considering I've only been out three times this year, I'd say I'm doing well. My dad is a funny guy. He tells me one thing, to help me do better, and then doesn't follow his own instructions. After that lovely round we came home and had a barbeque. My present was revealed and all was wondrous. Who doesn't want Stargate Season 5, 6, AND 7 all at once? Now his collection is complete, until the next season comes out on DVD.
I want to go to the beach, and I want to spend the night there. I want people to be able to come and I don't want any bad things to happen. I'm okay with a Chaperone even though it’s stupid that we'd need one. Everyone is almost 18 and therefore self-sufficient enough to spend a night at the coast by themselves. Camping isn't too hard, or dangerous in such a big group, assuming if I went I'd take a big group. Most of all I want it to be semi-warm, have a nice fire going, and watch the stars. I want it to be like Mexico, my goodness how I loved it down there. Walking down the beach with my music going, alone at 10 o'clock with nothing but the moonlight to light my way. How can you get it to be any better except maybe add female company? Speaking of which, I saw the MTV movie awards the other day, and I saw the part where Best Kiss was given out, and it was from the notebook, and the way they accepted it was amazing. Firstly I want to look like Ryan Gosling, even better would be Brad Pitt, but this Gosling fellow isn't too shabby, that’s right I looked up his name, and set up such a kiss. It was good people, I sound pretty lame, a guy commenting on this kiss on TV, but honestly, I'm jealous. It's in myspace pictures, a picture of it, that’s how much I want it to happen. But it's still weird thinking you're shoving your face into someone. One day my friends, one day it will happen to me, and I'll look as good as him, after I buffen up so I don't look like a stick.
This past paragraph is an interesting one; I'm sure it’s amusing to you all. Now I'm going to go to bed and think wonderful dreams of warm weather, sand, the moon, and cuddling. PEACE OUT.

It's rough, trust me...

Men have it hard in one way that no woman ever can, when getting out of a pool or hot-tub, they have to be especially careful. See, the shorts cling in the water, and if you stand straight up, people are going to see stuff, like tonight. I couldn't find my boardshorts anywhere, so I wore my racing shorts, the ones from cross country. Now those things are as thin as they get and when wet, basically turn into skin. So when exiting Jessi's hotub it was difficult, and lots of people either saw stuff, or laughed at how awkward I looked, and all the guys looked for that matter. It's just not easy to get out gracefully without showing too much off. Justin and I believe it will be the next Olympic sport, you get points for quickness, the actual job done, and grace. If you can do all of that you've mastered the getting out. girls don't have to worry about this, so they are lucky. And ladies, if you're ever curious, go swimming with a guy and watch them get out.
That aside, I looked good in my shorts and the girls recognized.
Then I went and played frisbee golf again and did well and had fun. I enjoy frisbee golfing, almost half as much as golfing. Now, its not to say I dislike frisbee golf, it truly is fun, but real golfing is that much more fun.
Today I also got my dad some sweet ace Father's day gifts, and went to Matt Haide's grad party. I like matt, he's a good guy, so ladies, if you're in search of the ultimate man in: sweetness, sincerity, caring, good-looks, modesty, proper ediquite, and overall awesome, go for Matt Haide.

I lost a sock tonight

Today hasn't been too shabby at all. It started out better than before because when I went to get my passport, it all went smoothly and I actually got the application in. So in about 6 weeks I'll have this lovely little book with all of my information in it for all the official types to check out. And when I get over to Deutschland I'll be using that puppy. My goodness I pretty much get more and more excited by the day. It's going to be an absolutely fantastic time and I can't wait to get there and hang out with Scott, check out the sites, clubs, woman, bars, and the like.
I get a very good feeling from having a clean house, and by cleaning it I get this feeling, so obviously I do it, and today was one of those days, I even ventured into the garage and tidied that up a bit. That and watching TV took up most of my afternoon.
Then tonight I went with Scott and Megan to go see Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Let me tell you, that movie a damn good movie. First of all, I'll admit brad Pitt is a very good looking man and I'd be alright looking like him. Not to mention the fact he had ridiculously nice clothes in that movie. He always had an overcoat for his suit jackets, and his suits were ridiculously nice as was their house. My goodness there house was amazing, and I actually thought Angelina Jolie was attractive in this one, normally I can't say I'm a fan. Pretty much, if I could live in that movie I would. I'd be John Smith and have an amazing life with tons of money and tons of awesome things because obviously material possessions are the only thing of importance in life.
I lost a sock tonight, I hope I find it.
I also bought a pie with Megan and Scott and it was good. It was strawberry covered in chocolate and whipped cream, and we bought it from Marie calendars. That ish is good.
Then I ran into Elyse and Vanessa, and it made me really want to go camping next weekend. Before I was pretty apprehensive, but my whole mood changed tonight, it was enjoyable. And now I'm off to bed, goodnight to you all. It was an amazing night for star gazing too. That moon was freaking huge.

To the new stuff.....

Today was a day of music, and crappyness. It started out with most everything in my life not working, usually involving electronics, and that really upset me. I got pretty distraught and had a mini melt down in my room where I quit everything, and turned up the music really loud and listened to several bands for the next two hours or so. Then I unwound even more with more music and video games. That really helped as far as being stressed out and then I went to cut wood with Scott. Unfortunately the stupid rain showed up so we couldn't, so we ended up just hanging out until now.
I pretty much lied to myself, and others, beforehand by saying I'd stay in touch. I'm not planning on calling lots of people, of course there are the people I will be calling, I haven't had a chance to get together with most of them lately, but I want to in the upcoming weeks. I really don't even care anymore, I'm leaving, they're staying, or leaving elsewhere, it happens. I pretty much want to go away anyways, not just to U of O because that isn't far at all, now looking at this Guinness sweatshirt of mine, I want to go to Ireland even more than before. Too bad I won't be, unlike the words that had been exchanged between a certain individual and I said. Meh, I'm going to Deutschland, if I ever get my passport. I wasn't aware you can't pay by cash, and a license isn't good enough proof of ID. Oh well, I'll figure something out.
I owe my brother for the new music I've been listening to, I downloaded a program that I can transfer all his music from his Ipod onto my computer, so now I've got all his new music, like this band Elbow, a good band. I've got the House V CD with Ben Gibbard and Andrew Kenny, and Griffin House that Patrick had showed me but I didn't have all the songs. I'm definitely in a more soft sound these days. Acoustics or mellow rock stuff. There is of course Jack Johnson of whom I didn't like to begin with. When everyone was talking about him a year or two ago I didn't really like it and wondered what they big deal was and even when his new CD came out I thought he was overrated, but you know what? I was wrong; he is really good and makes good music. I like his stuff a lot. Radiohead is still in, but I haven't listened to everything else yet. It’s pretty awesome to think that these people have followers wherever in the world. I mean, this band Elbow, I'd never heard of them, but now I really like them and so now, they've got someone from little ole Hillsboro, Oregon who listens to what they work hard on. It's got to be a good feeling to have that sort of thing going on. If I knew people liked my music enough to listen to it, I'd feel pretty good, even if it was short-lived. Then there is a person like Elliot Smith who must not even realize it, because I like him a lot, but he died. I mean, if he knew I liked him, he probably would have stayed alive and felt something to live for, and I’m obviously worth living for. hahaha, I had to go with that, when I said the first part it sounded conceited to me, so there goes the rest.
Watch out if you've got a friend who is dating someone. If you hang out with them you'll feel left out. And it’s not something that they should feel sorry for you, or stop there cutesiness for, it’s just something you ought to avoid. You'll probably either feel like you're getting in the way, or it'll be a little awkward. But hey! there is always that little dog around somewhere, or the stuffed animals.
Also, I've realized once again something about my romanticism; I'm more like a good consultant than a good romantic. I can come up with these super fresh neat ideas, but I'd never do them, I'm too chicken to do them. It's like a guy who writes romantic novels, he lives through those probably, making up his fantasies or whatever they are, but never has anything like them. I could probably write a book on ideas that men with balls could carry out, but I will never myself do them. Despite what I said, I don't know that I want a girlfriend. At least, I can't see myself with one, it'd be so different. I can say I wish I had one, and maybe mean it, but when I think about it, the reason I don't make a move is because when I picture it, its not what I can see happening. I'd surely hope this would change, and of course I've met an exception or two, but I was usually too late.
Exceptions....There are exceptions to everything in the world. Except, as Jeff (he's the only one who'd ever think of this I am pretty sure) that there is no exception to the rule that there is an exception to everything. It'll make your head hurt, don't think about it, Jeff is a freaking ridiculous kid.
I only had planned on writing a short paragraph, then it changed to this long deal. Sorry if I bore you, but you don’t have to read it if you don’t want.

Not too shabby for the first day of summer.

The first day. I'm pretty content with how my first day of summer went. Yesterday night was good too. I went out around 10:00 and went for a three mile run with my brother, and that was nice. I haven't run in a long time and it was great to get back into it.
Then today I woke up late for my lawn mowing service at my grandparent’s house, so I booked it over there and ended up killing a sprinkler head in the process. Then I went home, ate some grub, and then pimped out my Brother Jake's car. Man oh man is it sweet now. We've got an aero bed in that sucka, the walls are lined with sheets to block out light, candles, food, tons of blankets. Basically, where ever he is camping this week, he's living in comfort.
Back to yesterday for a bit, we went golfing at my Brother Josh's house, and that was a lot of fun, in fact, we're going back tomorrow.
Then after pimping the ride, I cleaned my car so now its basically spotless, and went on to playing video games until dinner, where I had some delicious Cherry and Lime Jell-O with real cherries in it, Probably the best food you'll ever have.
Then on to Jeremy's baseball game, where he performed at his average. Then to the Gym where we swam until the pool closed (fifteen minutes after we got there) then played Basketball. Swimming is so much harder than I ever remember it being.
Then I moved to Brent's and played Halo, harassed Justin, and watched fresh prince of bel air, man I love that show. I love will smith pretty much.

The Day After

Yesterday I graduated and that is very neat. The whole ceremony was kind of surreal, all of us seniors sitting around getting this little red folders with absolutely nothing in them, clapping as our fellow classmates shook the administrators hands, and then filing back into their seat. When it was all said and done we had either stood or sat for about 2 hours.
Then came the all night grad party. It was in probably one of the most sketchy areas of portland I've never seen before. They had roller skating, swimming with slides and rope swings, blow up toys, music, gambling, and other cool stuff. The pool was probably the most fun thing, I spent the majority of the time there, like an hour and a half or two. The rest was spent either skating, which was super sweet, or blow up toying it. It was really fun. I didn't get home until about 6:30 and then didn't want to sleep so decided I'd like to do yardwork. But apparently it was too early for the neighbors, so I went to bed. I slept until about 3:30 ish and then had my little grad party. That was a good time and now I'm still awake. I'm going to play video games

Summer will work out

Today was a pretty good day. The senior assembly for the gradudation deal wasn't too bad at all, then we had a delicious barbeque where I got to bond with the coolios. I haven't talked much with Mike Barnett until today and that was nice, good ole PB kids. then we went to bubble tea and that was a pretty good time, and I came home and cleaned and I'm pretty sure thats what I can do best, spend hours upon hours cleaning and making things look nice. Then I went to the Uptons and ate food with them and cleaned dishes there. I like clean. I really like clean glass most of all. Then we watched Upton family videos and it makes me wish we had videos of me when I was a young tike. We have from 94 and up, but its mostly big events, not everyday kinds of thigns.
Tonight Kyler made me miss my mom a lot. She's at the grandparents and trying to recover, but I haven't thought of how much of a bum deal she's got until tonight. I love her a lot and its not at all fair.
I also reconnected with an old friend.
Oh and it was brought to my attention that peopel actually write letters to their future spouse. How ridiculous is that?! You don't even freaking know them, thats absolutely crazy, and telling them, "I resisted temptations today becuase I thought of you." NOT EVEN POSSIBLE! Absolute crazy talk, crazy crazy. As is saying "I miss you already" Don't ever say it, its lame. you can say, "I'm going to miss you so very much" but never I miss you already, thats sappy and dumb.
And I love stars, and wish that I could be up there amongst them, with a freaking dog, since thats all I can get. I big soft cuddly dog, or a polar bear. I've always wanted to befriend a Polar Bear.

Well, lets gets married...

While I still have to go to school tomorrow to practice graduation, its not really school, and that means today was the last day of high school, and that means tonight was the start of summer. So I kicked it off well with a nice evening of swimming, ice cream, and Halo 2.
Right after school I went out with Scott and Hannah and got some food, then off to home for yardwork, then car washing at scotts, then swimming at Brents apartment. That was alright, I'd rather have more female accompanyment, but its partly my fault for not calling them, as well as the Bacheloriates fault for taking up so many of the girls, but mostly my fault for being a chicken.
Oh! And Danika Bamberg is getting married! Holy crap kids! 18 and getting married! thats insane, I haven't even had a girlfriend, let alone found 'the one' to marry. Wow.
In the past months I've been in so many situations as the third wheel its ridiculous. Honestly, its been at least 10. I freaking hate that shit. Boyfriend girlfriend, or boy and girl connecting, and then David and....the couch...the dog...the stuffed animal. I can't ever make a freaking move to be with a girl, so I'm not helping at all. Mrs. Perfect can come into my life at anytime.

Andrew Bond and the tatoo

i only had two collages done for my senior art show this morning, but after working on another all day i finished it and got three out there, a much better number. I didn't get to sleep until 2:30 last night, that sucked. Today was a very boring and useless day but tomorrow will be better, and wednesday even better, and thursday even better than that, until we Climax this week at Friday with graduation.
The slideshow went really well, I spent about 12 hours scanning all of about 300 pictures. Katie did a great job putting it all together and tonight worked out well.
I've been getting money for graduation and thats really nice. I think I've got it from six people now already.
I hung out with an unlikely crowd today after things, it was Andrew, Katie, Jill, Ryan, Luke, which isn't too unlikely, but then it was like 15 other kids like Cam Johnson and Kyle Orton and Roger Braker and such. It was fine though, and every minute Andrew is even more awesome than he has been before. Cool kid that Andrew Bond, and now he has a tatoo that he drew himself. Kudos to him for that.

It's a radiohead listening day

My mood as of late is annoyance I'd say. I'm tired of a lot of things, tired of crappy school where I waste my time, tired of stupid people, and tired of even more stupid people and their stupid situations.
Lately gossip, partly because of the play I'm in, has become more apparent to me and it just pisses me off. Why can't people say nice things about others? And this is where it’s hard, because I'm not doing it, but it’s more because of my emotions maybe? Or not, so maybe I'm a hypocrite, but it just seems useless to put others down. Oh so and so is so annoying, blah blah blah. I hate it when people talk about me, and I hate it when people talk about people I care about. How about a little respect for others? I don't get why so many people have to suck.
And that’s the other thing; sometimes these sucky people are really great. It's like they have two sides to them and I wish they'd show more of the loving happier, less crappy side. Sometimes a person can be fantastic, and then others and I've noticed this through other directors and such during these one acts, they can be completely ridiculous. As soon as power is thrusted into their hands its okay to be a big ass. People obviously have to respect them, but it’s alright for them not to respect others. People have to be quite for them, but they can be as loud as they wish. It's so two-sided and so stupid. This is why I'm happy to leave. I'll get away from that shit and enjoy the company of those who can treat others well.
That leads me into more gossip crap. Stuff floated around about Scott and it was all a load of crap and now everyone is trash talking him and what not, even people I sort of like, but when they do that I want to punch them in the face. They have no idea and base it all off of a lie and then say hurtful things. I'd say mind your own business.
Here's the other thing, its all girls doing the gossip. Imagine that, it’s mostly girls as well that are being the power hunger fools too. Some guys are involved, but majority are females, and what’s that about? All I want is for other people to respect one another. Stop being asses, bitches, and dicks. And for those who aren't and are fun and cool, way to be and way to stay above it all.
Most of all I hate hurting other people's feelings. Say whatever you want about me, I'm fine, I'll deal, but when I hurt other people, or other people hurt my friends and such, that’s just not okay. I've got Scott's back, and if you don't agree, I'll knock yo ass out with kindness. Oh I'm so ready to get out of this crappy place, goodbye high school and 95% of the people I interact within it.
I guess i could have gotten away with, "I don't appreciate people acting in the ways they have lately" and "we ought to learn to respect each other."
Ooh, that’s there too, I have no backbone, I'm a pansy biatch and so I can't stand up for anyone. I could have easily said, "I'm sorry, but I don't appreciate you talking about my friend like that, etc, would it be alright if I asked you to not to?" That can be completely considerate of everyone involved and can't hurt anyone’s feelings, the most common thing I'd probably hear would be, "Who the hell are you?" or, "Shut up David" but whatever, they'd stop, or be even more annoying about it, then I'd just have to shiv them, and shiv them I would.


venting has ceased.

I AM KING

I've just now finished scanning all of the pictures for the senior slideshow, I started yesterday and worked for about two hours, tonight it was much longer, from 8:30 to now, making it about 6 hours. I think the best way to show how much time has elapsed is to say how much music you listened to in that time, so I say to you, I listened to the Garden State Soundtrack, Muse, Death Cab for Cutie then Led Zeppelin 1,2, and 3. And if you checked it, thats just shy of 5 hours, so obviously I spent about an hour in breaks, walking around doing stuff. my eyes hurt, goodnight.