Today is the day of extended time amounts

I slept for over 10 hours.
I went on a bike ride for 4 hours.
I washed dishes for over 2 hours.
This is a day of extended time amounts on normally quick things.

This bike ride of mine was absolutely awesome. Jeff, Kevin, and I went and rode our street bikes all the way to Hagg Lake! Thats like 20 miles just to get there, but unfortunately Jeff decided it'd be a good idea for one of his tires to pop on the way back so we didn't make it all the way home. I'd have to say my legs are going to be ridiculously sore tomorrow, but it was so worth it. I really liked that ride.

Freshman Class sucks

There were 10 people running for Sophomore Class, 9 could make it, one got cut, it was my sister. I hate this school and shall destroy every last freshman. STUPID BITCHES! How about Glencoe sucks just a bit harder and ruins even more of Megan's hopes and aspirations, or maybe cutting her from every activity she's tried for makes them feel good. Whores. I'm going to start a fight; me vs. Freshman Class, bring it on fuckfaces.

I'm ready for summer

I wish life were more exciting, for example, Jeff and I saw lightning on our way home from GI JOE'S last night and were thinking, why can't it be closer? Why can't it strike right in front of us so we can see it better and get a little more excitement in our life? I feel pretty bored with the daily events of my life; I severely need some spicing up. Random visits that turn into hang outs are okay, as are planned hang outs. Movies are a good waste of time, as is looking for a job. Sporadic is usually pretty good.
Today was also something that was good. First period and third period are pretty much worthless, but today I played tennis third period with Weston and Greg and despite getting sweaty I had a good time. This leads into after school real tennis. I played Jesuit at fourth singles and did pretty well. I played the best I have this year and scored 5 games on him, winning the first two of the match and surprising the entire team. Everyone else got womped. I probably scored more games than every doubles team combined, I don't know how Mica or Jimmy did. I got sweaty but it was worthwhile because I had the most fun and exciting match of this year. The kid I played was way cool and fun to play against. He way good, which always seems to make me to do better and his serve was way hard to hit.
Then we go to one-act plays- so fun! The entire school was cleared minus the 50 people or so that had come. Then when they let everyone go to the groups it was just several groups of people I like and I wish school was more like that. Not so many crappy kids just cool ones. I read for Taylor and Patrick, Vallie, and Jessica. They all had cool plays and I'd be cool with landing a part in any. I probably have the best chance with Vallie's, Taylor and Patrick seemed to have found their cast, and it didn't include me, and Jessica probably found someone better to play her character. Vallie's play is going to be really funny and cool, so hopefully I at least got that. If I didn't get any of those then I don't know, but that’s not likely. I'm a pimp right? So why wouldn't I get a part. I took my shirt off for my big audition, who doesn't want some of this? I really enjoyed reading with people, and am excited these are starting up. The lack of people at school reminds me of summer because towards the end of the year it seems like hardly anyone is there.
I'm ready for summer.

here 

Nope

I only got five hours of sleep last night thanks to my talking to Rachel Patrick. I thought I'd be dead in the morning, but as it turns out I was a-okay. I went through school alright, I am pretty sure I'll be getting the best score as of yet in English for my amazing essay. I even dragged in a parallel story for that biatch! 8, I'm predicting it right now, 8.

After school I went to what I thought would be tennis practice but turned out not to be so much. Apparently the coach didn't come and said we could practice if we wanted to? What the F? It worked out quite well though, because then I went over to track practice and played around there. I threw Javelin like ten times, and I'm getting better, it’s really hard to do, and I also did pole vault, which I thought would he really scary but turned out to be super fun. I think I'll make an effort to make it back to another few of their practices to try even more events, like shot-put and discuss, and high jump, I really have wanted to try high jump.

I ended up practicing with Scott for two hours splitting the time between both of those events. Then I walked over to the tennis courts and sure enough, the girls were still practicing. That’s when I sat down next to Jake Unger and decided we'd play some of the girls. It was nice talking to Jake again; I haven't really done that in quite some time. Turns out he's pretty good at tennis. We played for about an hour until my arms were really sore from all the exercise.

Once again this blog entry sucks, it doesn't sound very interesting. Probably the most interesting thing that happened today was Luke Hightower trying to explain his new theory on life. Apparently there are two states of being, the conscious and unconscious. The conscious is where we are when we are awake, this world has limits and solid facts and ideas, and then there is the unconscious, the dream world, where you can basically do whatever you want. His take is you die and slip into the unconscious state. You interact there with whomever you choose and the world is as you want it. Heaven's exist because you believe they do and in an unconscious state you create them. Sounds pretty ridiculous. I talked with him about it, trying to understand how this would work, about as unique of a conversation as I've had in a while. I really like philosophy; I'm going to have to take it next year. It certainly will make me think, something I can't say I've been doing.

AP tests are next week! English anyways. I really want to pass that test, and not just pass, get a 5. If I got a 5 I'd have 20 credits at UO! 20 credits is so much! Even if I get a 3, which is the goal as of right now, I'll get 8, and 8 credits is better than zero.
The Government test is the week after that, and I'm not in any way prepared for that one. It's like APUSH all over again. I didn't pay attention, I can't recall any of the facts I should be able to, and I'm going to fail it. All I am hoping for is a 3, if I don't get it, it'll be disappointed but life will go on.

Now after these tests it’s like I'm going into a vegetative state. NO CLASSES! Drafting where I'm working on a house= easy, Late Arrival=LOVE, Yearbook=worthless, Leadership=graduation is it, AP GOV=movies, AP English= Project where I make fun of Powell. School is going to be soooo good after May 14th or whatever date my Gov test is. I'm going to go up and visit my brother that weekend too. Completely shut down and possibly have a job lined up. I really need to make money. I'm not broke, but I could use a lot more money, money in which I could finance awesome things.
Jeff and I talked about the Pacific Cascade trail that goes from Mexico to Canada. We can't exactly travel it all, that'd take several months, but we could do the Oregon Portion, or the Canada Portion, or something like that. I'd love to get out and hike. I rarely do anything outdoors like that and I can't see anything else that’s more worthwhile than walking several hundred miles. And there is going to be Germany! Oh GERMANY!!!!! We need to book our tickets ASAP, but it’s going to be amazing. What an experience, and it will be with Scott, the roommate to be, so we'll be having a good wake up to what living together will be like.
SCHOOL IS ALMOST OVER!!!!

Is it true?

My grandma gave me this piece of paper with all these statements saying that Iraq is a holy land that is mentioned 2nd most in the bible only under a different name. Then they give this reference from the book of Koran Chapter 9 verse 11(9:11) that says, "For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair, still more rejoiced for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah; and there was peace." So it says the Eagle is a common symbol of America. Drawing the connections? I'm not sure if this is just a bunch of BS or not. It seems too much of a coincidence not to be true, but of course is this just propaganda for THE MAN? I can't translate the Koran, so how should I know if it’s true. Thing is I never will. I'd hate to believe that someone would make this shit up.

Oh Shit! I just looked it up! That’s not at all what it says in the Koran, I have the link here, http://etext.virginia.edu/koran.html and in Chapter 9, verse eleven it actually says, "But if they repent and keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate, they are your brethren in faith; and we make the communications clear for a people who know."
In fact, the word eagle never comes up in the entire Koran. Now the question is who the hell made this up. I just completely ruined it for all "believers" so is it worth telling my grandparents and having them forward it, or should I let them go on believing it's true? Well it looks like she ought to know, and that’s why I just told her. This angers me, I think I'm going to write the lead guy, and I just did. I hate forwards and this just furthers my hate.

I think this is big; I never bothered to check up on this stuff before tonight. Now I am going to have to, I'd hate to think this forward will continue even with my new knowledge, and people will believe it. Jim Thomas had better learn his freaking lesson and never do that again.

Today I spent most of my time working with my sister on her election speech and posters. I have made three pimp posters for her, or least drew some pictures for them, and we've come up with a sweet idea. She is going to win President and if she doesn't someone is going to get hit...with my car.

So shall we pass on the whole school deal? I'm honestly not learning anything. My teachers are trying to teach me, they say I need to do that on my own. Then what are they for? Guides? Well that’s not good enough. Instead of giving me busy work that I do just to get done instead of learn how about make me think and actually learn? Stupid school systems. I'm not learning, CIM IS CRAP so is all other standard testing. I hate school, High School at least, College is going to be so much better.

And then there was this

I will now remember this day as the most worthless, ridiculously boring day of my life. I woke up at like 12:30 after the worst night's sleep of my life. I got home from Allison’s party and was all grassy from Scott and I wrestling at McKinney, so I took a shower. I thought the shower worked and when I got to bed I felt fine and started the sleeping process of listening to Enya and closing my eyes. After about an hour I got incredibly tired and started to drift off so I took off the headphones and went back to sleeping, or so I thought. After getting comfortable again I started dozing off only to wake up a few minutes later with an incredible itch, so I moved under the covers to make sure my back got covered by the sheets really nicely. This whole chain of events just repeated itself until my bed was in complete disarray from the moving and adjusting to get un-itchy. After this lasting about an hour or so my eyes were so heavy I couldn't even deal and put on a shirt and got a drink of water. I went and tried it again but the same thing happened and I was starting to get upset. Finally at around 3:30 or 4 I got to bed.
Now sleeping in until 12 doesn't seem to be such a big deal does it? Anyways, I got up and didn't do anything. I took a shower, worked on picking out my senior pictures, of which I have finally ordered, and then just sat around. I listened to music, tried to keep busy with computer stuff but got too bored. Most days like this are pretty relaxing and I am alright with them, but today was awful. I didn't even eat anything until about 7:30 or so. It was a complete waste of time and I wish something fun would have happened.
Maybe tomorrow will be more fun and eventful, but I doubt it.

sorry this sucks

School today was a fantastic event, because it didn't exist. I slept in until 8:30 and then worked on Allison's gift and getting ready for the rest of my available time. My wrapping job was so professional it's amazing. The front at least, but that's all that matter anyways.
So off to school I went, or rather, off to the Convention Center. I spent all of the school day looking at ceramics, and beads, and weaving, and glass. Glass was by far my favorite. I loved how they could make these amazing looking things with all these super beautifully colored glass. Even the coasters they had were awesome. They also had Tanagrams made out of colorful neat glass and Weston and I played that. Most of the time was spent with Weston and I walking around making comments on people’s art then going to eat and watching the giant pendulum knock over these spikey things. If you've ever been to the convention center you know exactly what I am talking about.
Then I came back and played tennis which was pretty fun since it was so amazing outside. The weather was absolutely perfect minus the wind. That wind killed so many times.
I'm feeling awfully lethargic so this is going to be a pretty lame, and pretty straight forward post. For the evening I went to Allison's birthday party which was the epitome of all the parties I've been to and noticed cliques. This one had two, and they were ridiculous: Choir kids who sang and sang and sang, only songs they knew from select leaving many out. Then there was Dance Team girls who made fun of all the other dance team girls by mocking them. As you could guess though a handful, meaning Me, Scott, Elyse for a short time, and Kristi who only chose not to participate in either although she was capable of both, just watched. It was pretty lame because there wasn't much to do but Kristi and Scott kept it cool. But then everyone grouped back up and it was okay. Then we opened presents. It's funny because Scott and I and Jeff and Elyse were the only ones who knew what it was, Jessi had an idea but wasn't sure, yet when we got to the party everyone had heard about it. How does gossip spread so fast? and why? But when she opened the present it turned out so much better than we had guessed it would. We had bought her a black and pink lace boddess, matching panties, and knee-highs to go with it. Scott and I expected many jeers from the people around but it didn't happen like that. They all thought it was pretty funny actually, which is what we thought. Allison started playing Chopin from the sheet music Matt bought her and I enjoyed listening to that, she's pretty much amazing at it.
This post sounds like a third grader is writing it, and that’s because I'm really tired. But I'm not even done yet. It's pretty interesting to think that since I am not feeling like writing, and even when I do, I leave out tons of detail of the day. No one, not even I, will remember what happened because it's not written down.
The best part about tonight was the glow in the dark frisbee. We played for almost an hour at McKinney with this awesome little glow in the dark frisbee that Jeff had brought. Taylor is an extremely funny guy and really fun to listen to talk. Scott and I wrestled and both got ridiculously dirty from the freshly mowed grass. Now my white shirt will forever be stained green.
I'm out, sorry it sucked.

King of Awesome?

When you're running late in the morning and expect to have absolutely no time to accomplish goals, and it turns out you get an opportunity to accomplish them, life is good. That is why today is good; I had tons of free time to do what I pleased.
I begun with the ASB elections, of which were marginal. I myself was pulling for Greggy as first prime, but Jeff and Zac had an awesome musical deal. When the kids came out I got to play music, my only job of the assembly. Although I would have liked to talk and introduce Katie took that from me for herself. I got back with playing Toxic twice as people filed in, she stopped it the first time, and played something else, but I got back. I played it again when she left. It turned out pretty well and was very easy to do. Then I went to yearbook and helped Katie make her research paper even better. I'm just too freaking nice, what can I say.
Then we move on to Government where I haven't paid attention for the past few weeks because there isn't anything worth learning. I talked with peter and gave Anneliese a hard time as usual. She didn't give me a ride yesterday, I made sure she remembered.
Off to tennis I went. Traveling the short distance to Westview where I proceeded to get womped. Now I had my music playing and completely zoned out. Plus Noel was my partner and he is not good at doubles. He doesn't get the concept at all and completely screws his partner. Needless to say, because of all the things going on, and those jerks from Westview I got pissed. My music kept my appearance calm, but on the inside I was ready to punch some faces. Westview had some dick kids, and our opponents fit this category. They were little punk ass bitches who I seriously considered calling them names and then punching them in the face. They were little, but thought they were the shit, so I would be happy to take them out. So I got pissed and did the only sensible thing: went after them. I aimed my shots at them and tried my best to hit them. Unfortunately I didn't get any good opportunities, thanks Noel. I can't say I played very well, but I was listening to music and not really paying attention, so can't blame me right?
Then I got back to Glencoe and watched the girls play, where I became so very aware that their team is a bunch of Nazi's. Stupid freaking Anneliese and Aubrey are so afraid of getting in trouble and think they're coaches are going to harm them if they do anything I ask.
"Give me some pizza, you've got a full pizza and everyone is almost done,"
"No! The coaches would kill me! When everyone is done and has had theirs you can have some, but not before."
"Come on! Are they really going to kill you? Are they going to stab you, or shoot you, or run you over? I doubt it; you have nothing to worry about."
"Ask someone to ask for one, and then give it to you,"
"Wait! What?! What does that matter, why can't you pretend someone gave it to me?"
"The coaches would know!"
"NO THEY WOULDN'T! Come on! You can't be serious. You're lying to yourself; you just hate me don't you? You don't give me a ride to practice because the coaches, now you don't give me pizza. Admit it. You know, if you asked me, I'd give it to you. Even if the coaches said no, I wouldn't care, you're my friend."
"Girls tennis is different, I don't hate you."
"Yes you do"
"You're right, I do."
"Ha! See you do! And still I'd do it for you,"
So see, the girls team is a bunch of Nazi's who have received the fear of god. They can't honestly think anything will happen to them, I know from experience. All you get is a slap on the wrist, then you go and do it again and it's the same. No one dishes out any serious consequences at Glencoe.
"You're not playing Varsity today because you didn't show up to the meeting after practice."
"Yeah I did, you saw me, at the end I came,"
"That was the last five seconds of it, it doesn't count"
"Fine, I really don't care, it has no affect on me."
"Good"
That happened. What does playing varsity v. JV do? Other than waiting a bit longer before playing? I could actually win JV matches anyways. This is why people can't punish me. It doesn't work. Nothing, other than someone being disappointed in me, and usually it has to be the parents, makes me feel bad.
So then I went out and bought an amazing gift for Allison Bertelson's birthday. I'm not going to talk about it until I give it to her tomorrow, but when I do, it will be out like wildfire. Everyone is going to know Scott and I are the best freaking men in the world. Who knows maybe it will bring us success. Not that he needs it, or I particularly want it. Jeff needs it. Too bad he's a wuss.

Maybe he'll be president....

If you wake up in the morning and it's sunny how can you not want to be outside? The question is you can't, so the matter is what you end up doing in the lovely weather. Do you play a game? Walk the dog? or go for a run? I seriously considered walking my dog, but I figured it take much too long and I wouldn't get anywhere, plus, with school in progress I can't go and run her there; dogs aren't allowed. So yes, I went for a run. A 25 minute run, where I ran about 3 miles and then sprinted an entire lap at school just to exhaust myself. It was pretty awesome, and when i got home I did some weak stretching and then hopped into the shower. A cold shower, I usually wouldn't step foot into the temperature shower I did, but it felt super refreshing and then I went to school.
Whereupon, I played the enforcer. I told the kids of student council we'd be having a cleaning contest, winner gets a candy bar. It's really funny how much people worked for that little bar. Everyone hustled to clean their cubbies up and made the room look much nicer and way less messy. We'll have to see if it stays.
All the while I am here at school the sun decides it rather enjoys being out above the suburbs of Hillsboro, Oregon and chooses to stay while the kids of Glencoe High School itch to go out and enjoy it's glorious smiling rays. It can see David through a second story window, looking incredibly bored as he listens to the conceited sound of the Powell.
I don't think he's worthy of being called Powellasaurus. Dinosaurs are way too cool for him. Way too cool.
I went home after buying my tickets to prom, to further my prom evenings plans. Scott Heter and I called and have thus far reserved our limousine, restaurant, and tuxes(we did that earlier of course). Now we'll just let our money tree's grow nice and large leading up to the evening.
Jeff and I then went to apply to a berrypicking place. I don't want to work there now. After seeing it and realizing the work involved for such a crappy amount I don't want to work there so I really need to find a place. On the way home we decided we'd go for something way cooler and applied to Forest Hills Golf Course. A job at a golfing range would be way cool. When I got home it was 4:15, meaning I was late to tennis practice, so I hustled over to Glencoe and what?! Why are the freaking girls on my court? Oh shit! It's at Evergreen, so I run up and ask my favorite girls to give me a ride.
She think it's so easy to say no to me. I could ask anything of her and she wouldn't have a hard time saying no. I bet even if i said, "you wanna help me save this poor starving kid by feeding him and getting him out of a fire?" she'd just say, "sorry, I've got homework, but I'll call you." Man, I need to write these things down in a play format.
So no, she doesn't give me a ride. But do I go home and drive? Hell no, I'm already a twentieth of the way there, so I run. Thats right, after running in the morning I run again, mid afternoon when it's ridiculously hot, and I'm late, so I'm running at a much faster pace. I get there and am basically pooped, but I play and get tooled. My arms are heavy and I don't want to be there. I'd rather be up in my room, in front of the window with the sun glaring in making a bright warm spot on my comforter dozing off. I stay for an hour then take the trek home. All in all I went like 5 miles today? Thats a lot of traveling by foot. And that doesn't count the school walking, nor the mowing I did later in the evening. The mowing would actually be a lot, walking along 400 or 500 square feet of lawn. Probably more.
Later this evening I was faced with he dilemma of wanting something sweet, but knowing it'd be better for me if I didn't. I weighed the sides wondering if it'd hurt if I ate sweets, and telling myself i shouldn't, it wouldn't be fulfilling getting out and exercising to put the calories back in.
I went to my grandparents house down the street and ate a push-pop and a few licorice. I'm a freaking weakling. I could have had peanut butter toast, or fruit! Fruit is incredible, why couldn't I have had fruit?
This day has had many events, to extend the list I'll add my movie watching experience. I had rented I heart the Huckabee's a few days ago but never had the chance to watch it. So I finally did. It was surprising, the comments on the box said it was hilarious, I didn't think it was hilarious, just really interesting. It certainly had lots of funny parts, but not hilarious. Jude Law is awesome, I really like that guy, and Mark Walburg is cool too. Of course there is Jason Schwartzman. He is a very interesting guy, I think he ought to cut his hair. He can grow mad hair, but shouldn't put it all on his head. He'd look way cooler with a buzz cut. It was a good movie and worth watching. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense for most of it and kind of goes through tons of things. Good.
Now I'm craving peppermint. I'm pretty much addicted to sweets. That's unfortunate for someone who never wants to get fat.

As the tiny bubbles float up....

Lava Lamps are quite the deal. You can watch them for hours, waiting for each blob to either fall or rise and push the ends away and create new ones. Continuous floating that is colorful and bright. Way cool, these lava lamps.

Today I showed around the soon to be Freshman and pretty much was the coolest person in the world. I took them on a quick tour of the school, told them whats what, and when they started goofing off, I put them in their place. Boo ya! I'm a senior, so I'm aloud to talk down to them. Like say, "Why are you walking so slow? Speed it up. actually, come to the front, that way, you are the one to set the pace. Maybe then you'll pay attention to what I'm saying." and when kids would talk to other kids, I'd say, "Oh sorry! What are you doing talking to my group? I think you ought to get back to yours and not talk while I am." It's times like these when I can be a jerk and not feel bad, because I won't be there, and I don't care what a stupid little kid thinks. I'm off to college sucka's, Fo'get you and yo' Glencoe High School.
I floated through the rest of the day. Anneliese is going to Amherst. That's pretty cool, she's going to be a wicked smart professor in ten years and I'll be a bum living off a crap salary. I'll see her and reminisce in the old days when we used to be friends. She'll say, "yeah, those were pretty good times, too bad you were a stupid kid and didn't apply yourself so you couldn't end up like me. Oh well, you'll live, but say, you ought to come to my wedding with Jeff; You remember jeff?" I'll say I sure do, but I thought i said we were going to get married. "No silly, remember? I said I was marrying Jeff." "oh yeah," I'll say. "Besides, why on earth wouldn't I marry him. Did you know he's a successful composer now? He's written hundreds of pieces." And then I go jump off a cliff, because I've become such a failure.

I ought to write plays. Taylor Johnson is doing this one-act about a kid who writes plays. I come up with wild ideas, I should make them into a play. Like just now, the thing I wrote, while exaggerated, could work. I could tone it down and make it more believable and bam! I'm an award winning playwrite! It'd be amazing I tell you. See right here, all of these fabricated stories, heap 'em together and you've got gold. I'm a romantic guy, I'll write romantic plays. Or movies! then I'd be in the money...

I took an hour to myself tonight, and by that I mean I shut myself away from my family and all distractions except music. Then I sat there, cleaned my room and thought about nothing in particular and cleared my head. It's really nice not thinking about anything, then we have this lava lamp. It's still going and it was then too. Along with Mozart and Damien Rice I just sort of tuned out the world and did nothing for an hour. It was refreshing I'll tell you.

Also: The sun is here! It's supposed to be all week and that idea is one of pure joy. I'm ready for the summer to arrive and time to be of no importance. Maybe I'll start that running now that its nice. I've got to follow suit of Jeff and Becky. How can they both work out and I not? It's not going to happen. I'm doing it.

I don't know why you bother....

Between the time of this blog and my last quite a few things have happened. On Friday Jeff spent the night and we hung out at Allison's house for quite some time. She is a very cool girl, and I had a good time there. Then I came home and watched Mystic River while Jeff played around on my computer, and when I was finished with the movie I came up and he was still here, so we decided to learn how to pick locks.
The next day he spent the better part of 6 or 7 hours studying up on it. My brother Josh had his pre-wedding party here with Phyllis' family in attendance. Then Cali, Jake, Jeff and I went and played tennis and that was fun.
Sunday came and I went to the sojourn theater School deally. The play was quite compact and had tons of information in it, and the discussion was awesome. I loved learning about other people's opinions and finally forming some of my own. It was very cool.
Today I've thought some about whatever my deal is with Becky. I don't actually get why I feel like I do. Seeing as how we were never an item I have no basis for my anger. You can't get mad at a crush, that's retarded. So now I'm just angry with myself for being such an idiot and wasting so much thought on it, when it could have been left where it was way the hell back then. Seriously folks, it's the most ridiculous thing in the world and it's taken so much energy out from me. Had we actually dated there might be reason for it. So, whats the conclusion? I'm not going to be angry, for there is no purpose in it. She is a girl I was friends with. THE END. I really want her out of my head. This should help, a lot.
The other thought of today is the necessity of me to get into a fight. If I'm going to get tough thats the way to do it. I'm so curious how well I could do, and now with Brian acting as a Bookie I've got better odds than Powell in our fight, and i've already got like 10 bucks to my name. Plus the more experience i have with fighting the better I'll get. So if I get in a few fights before college, I'll be able to kick some ass when I get there. Even if I lose my fights I'll still be getting better and stronger and more able to handle it. This could be my new motivation perhaps. I've had the urge to go running and get in shape and do push-ups and sit-ups and all that. Get a little bit bigger and more fit and able to manage myself better. Today Jared came after me and it took me by surprise. I was playing around but I guess in a real fight scenario he'd probably do that. He was moving around a whole lot and it's not like, face to face punching eachother like boxing. No, it'd be street, anything goes, they could kick tackle, rough me up in other ways...which is why I need experience, I don't know what to expect yet. All I've got under my belt is family wrestling which is way easy and not in any way serious. So tonight Scott, Jeff, Jared, and I are getting together to fight. I'm not sure how its going to go down, I don't really want to punch any of them, maybe just hard wrestling. But see, I want to really fight people, yet at the same time I think it'd have to be someone I didn't know, or didn't like, because Jared said he'd fight me, but I said I didn't want to fight him. If one of us got hurt the other guy would feel bad. OOH! this is perfect for a quote from Sin City, "I love hitmen. No matter what you do to them, you don't feel bad." So basically I need someone to come after my life so I don't have to feel bad about beating the crap out of them, assuming I could. I'm also afraid of that. I've got these day dreams of getting into fights and winning but in reality, I could probably easily lose. It probably seems incredibly lame that I'm thinking about getting in fights, like some stupid macho deal. But hey, the most bad ass thing to do is fight. It's a test of strength, both emotional and physical, and ability. So maybe I need someone to beat me up in order to change my opinion. Until later....

Phew, for a minute there, I lost myself....

I had the wildest most satisfying and perfect dream last night. It all begun at some house where the Arrington Papa Murphy's is, and my brother and I were talking and he'd been able to do this thing where he completely disappeared from where he was and got away from whatever was going on. So low and behold I get a call from this guy, and he says that he wants me to do things for him. So I go outside and I cause some sort of mayhem and hit cars with mine and just basically take out this entire parking lot area, and instead of getting in trouble, the world slows down and I close my eyes, and I vanish into a new location, just like my brother had been talking about. Now this description doesn't even cover how it felt in my dream, it was simply an amazing feeling that I pretty much fell in love with. SO I ended up doing something at school at a later point in time in this dream and got into big trouble over it, to the point where I'm a fugitive. Who know's maybe I finally beat the crap out of Mr. Powell, then took over a tank from the National Guard. That'd have been sweet. Anyways, I'm a fugitive and can't trust anyone, and I know that they'll check my house first of places of all, but I've got to go in. And my house isn't really my house, its different in some way but I can't remember just how so. So I sneak in and get my jacket and something things, and this dude calls again, but before i pick up it says, "answer at 515" and I know he means when the number says 515, but on my phone it says 315, but I don't know what to do, so I answer and he gets pissed and says, "I told you to answer at 515" Then I run away into a neighborhood that's supposed to be mine, but is just like ones that I've had in my other dreams, that don't really exist. So I get to the swamp near my house and know I have to cross it because if I use the road people will catch me and turn me in. So I get in and take my jacket off and swim across it. But it's not a crappy swamp water deal like mine, its just like a lake, but still pretty dirty, but it's my life on theline, so I keep going, just hoping life will slow down and I can close my eyes again. So I get across the "swamp" to land and need to duck out really fast without being seen, but these people are walking don't he street so I don't know what to do. I figure they won't notice me as being a fugitive so I risk it and start running towards the woods. At this point I'm sprinting full on for an awfully long time, running away from this trouble but never having life slow down to save me. I don't really know what I'm going to do because I've apparently cause a crapload of trouble and didn't take any thought to how it'd work out for me. And if I get caught I'm absolutely screwed and anyone could do it. And I'm still running, in my Blue and Black Columbia jacket, soaking wet white t-shirt, and my Nike Dri-fit shorts. I pass these people on there walk and all of a sudden things go away, and I am in a high-tech space ship with my family, just my dad, mom, and sister though. I'm flying the ship and I'm instructing people how to deal with what is going on. This ship has been sectioned out into partitions that can break apart and each person needs to have their own. I've got huge windows in mine and can see out of them. Then all of a sudden from around the corner where my family is supposed to be my mom and sister pop there heads in and say something to the extent of, "wow! look at that view, yours is so much nicer than our compartments," and they wriggle themselves in and all the while I'm telling them they need to get out and get back to theirs because if it breaks apart they're going to be screwed and need to have their own bubble space. They ignore me, so I let them slide all the way in and I move out into their area which is way crappier than mine. It's still really nice, leather walling and everything but no windows and just a long corridor. So I compact myself in to the area so when we break off I'll have my safe spot. Then this buzzing goes off and I know it's time for us to section off. Then I wake up to hear my alarm going off. So I crawl over the bed and turn it off and go back to my dream, but its too late and I've lost it. Freaking alarm!

Pretty wild eh kids? I really liked it, the part where I'm disappearing lasted way longer than it sounds and I just did way cool stuff. I honestly don't know where these thoughts came from. I'd be interested in seeing though. Jeff and I did have a discussion about having something interesting and big happen to us in our lives; I'd say a fugitive fits the profile. The whole feeling of being completely alone in my escape was in no way sad either. I liked it actually, it was a rush to try and get away and be one step ahead of the authorities. I don't know where I would have gone from my running away. I'd like to think I could outrun the coppers. Run away just quick enough and be just smart enough to get away to Canada or something, where I could then fly to Spain or Italy and live anew. I had better do something worthwhile in my life. I'm okay with pushing the envelope and paying for it. Prison wouldn't be ideal, so i don't want to go that far really, but it's so appealing....what if I did punch Mr. Powell or something? Or some kid at school? Suspension from school? If it were Powell probably expulsion so not a good idea, and he can be a big dick sometimes, but other times he's not to bad. But I'm sure i could find another kid worth punching. In fact, probably several. I could name a few.

Yep, I need to get into a fight. I need to know if I could win or if i could even handle that sort of thing. My freaking dad had some throw-downs in his time, school used to be way cooler, there'd be a fuss and you and your tight buddies would stick up for some smaller kid whose getting picked on by a bigger one. Then the whole school goes into the fight and everyone is fighting everyone else. Jeff and I came to the conclusion that it must be a normal guy thing to dream about such occurrences. Like if someone were to come into the school with a gun, we'd be ducking behind some trashcan and they'd be distracted by something else, and we'd whip out and kick their ass. Except, we've seen clips from like Columbine and are pretty sure if we were really into that situation we'd be like everyone else and running for our lives with big pee stains in our pants. Hmmm....

pack and get dressed...

How could I skip such a crucial day as April the 11th? I'll tell you, I fell asleep again, without spending time on this puppy, but now I can give you the low-down and it. So after first period I make a run to Party City and purchase some Window Markers, then hustle home to make it back by third period. And yes, I did, sure I sped a bit but who honestly doesn't speed? I personally find it hard not to. But i got back in time and went out third period and wrote, "U/ME PROM?" on her front windshield and arrows on the other windows pointing towards the front. It looked pretty freaking rad, and thats also the time I went and talk to Phil about getting Megan out of class Seventh period with a, "We need you to go check your car, we saw people messing with it on the video." He said yes, and I'll be baking him cookies one of these days soon. And there began the agonizing wait. Agonizing for more than just being nervous about it for it had rained for two periods and I was incredibly scared it'd have run. So during second lunch Greg Schaal and I ran out and checked up on it, and luckily it hadn't at all, so we added a Dinosaur and a Crab to the back for more artistic and visual appeal. Then came 7th period where I waited in my suit and picked a pretty flower, waiting until 2:30 when she was supposed to come out. I went out about ten minutes early to make sure I was there when she got there and it's a good thing I did because she came out early too. I was hiding behind Alex Bustamante's car when I saw her coming out the door. She was walking and looking for her car, and when she got in eyesight she sort of jumped and went faster to get to it. I think she saw what was there, and that was good. So as she came up to it, I walked out from behind the car, and being the incredibly lame person I am, said, "So Megan, there is this dance May 7th at 10 and I was hoping you'd join me for it." Then she said, yes, and I was happy and she hugged me, and then we went inside and talked about the nights plans on the way back. And thus ends the Prom asking saga.

And today was awesome for one reason. It decided to rain really hard for quite some time. I went out fifth period into the courtyard and while listening to Radiohead just looked up into the rainy sky and it was awesome. I just wish whenever it rains it'd rain like today. Later during tennis it started up again and we thought we'd have to stop, but it died out soon and became gorgeous and sunny. Then during my third set versus Liberty, home of Rachel the 'destined to be good friends' online-soon to be in real life- friend, it poured harder and we got rained out.

I won't lie, I love my some Radiohead and Rain. Here's the thing about rain; I think I have to be in it when it starts to enjoy it. If I'm all dry and warm inside then go out into the rain I usually hate it to death, unless its pouring. Who isn't fascinated with hard hard rain? I was tempted to run in it today. But what I really wanted was for a nice little lady to be on my arm as we walked and talked in it. Once again, most all I think about are girls, so don't laugh when i say things like that. Or maybe just strolling down the street with my music. That would work for me. Lately I've gotten into different moods than I have in a while, seemingly more motivated moods, thats pretty exciting and nice.

I think I'm going to use my free second period to read at home, and be comfortable and not need to rush to get ready. I'm excited about this. No stinking school for an hour and a half, no stupid math lesson, and best yet, only two classes tomorrow! Jealous Much??? Some people are just super fun to talk to, especially if I'm in the mood to talk. Good work to you peeps who fall into that category.

I'll go forward, you go backwards

Pepperidge Farm makes excellent baked goods. Not only are their cookies delicious but they make the tiny addicting Goldfish of which I am now consuming to the soft beats of Jack Johnson. One of these days I'm going to have time to run as hard as I can for as long as I can without becoming physically exhausted, and I will do it. I'm just afraid its only going to be like five or six miles. I've just eaten like 5 giant heaping handfuls of Goldfish. I tend to do that with things in bulk. The other day I was given a huge handful of skittles from a giant back and I ate them all at once, and then want more. There goes another face stuffer.

Today I spent the better part of two and a half hours of my afternoon doing yardwork, and it felt good. I had to use an old school push mower since my brother took the van and now I can't transport the big mower all the way to Orenco. I ended up going over the lawn with that push mower at least 10 times, and by the end it looks really good. I raked up all the excess grass from it, pulled everyweed I could find, trimmed the edges of the grass, swept the pathway, raked the tanbark and made it look all good, and neatened up the entrance. Radiohead was playing in my ears while I worked away making my grandparents lawn pristine. Then I went inside and made sure everything was in order. I better get paid bank, like a hundred million dollars or something. I only wish I could get motivated enough to want to do that every time.

I think I've got the skills to be a natural man of action. I'm plenty willing to head a group of people to accomplish something. At the same time I can see myself as going with the flow. Now the box is halfway done, poor old Goldfish. So question is, which is going to flourish more in life. Will I take charge, or go with the flow. I'd like a mix of the two. The ability to go with the flow but the decisiveness of a leader. I'm going to be actively involved in things as I grow. I'd like to play intramural sports at UO, like tennis and soccer. I want to run as well, and what better place? Running Capital of the world right? If thats not reason enough to go running, I don't know what I'll do. Scott and I will be down there together so we can work out together and become awesome lifelong buddies.

I don't know about the friends I thought I'd stay close with, namely Anneliese and Jeff. I don't know anymore, its not out of the question to stop talking to them. Maybe that was a factor in my mood the other night. When I was talking to her maybe I realized it and it sort of sucked. But she'll be going to Stanford and he'll be going to Whitman and I'm not in any of those plans. What I'll do is I'll get good at guitar and using Radiohead as my influence, I'll make amazing music and love my life that way. I'm going to learn some of their songs by Variety show, and seeing as how no one can sing like Thom, maybe I won't play any, and instead play something else. Tomorrow promises some good events, if I can pull them off. Window Markers be my friend.....

Weakness, complete weakness.

There isn't any use in complaining because i truly don't want to get any sympathy or "you're fine," etc. but its on my mind and I'm going to write it down.
Despite what people have been saying I haven't, "realized that I am a good guy." I keep dreaming on becoming excellent without any strides in the right direction. I've watched movies that give me rad ideas, like "Sahara." Why the heck can't I be a treasure hunter and have those extraordinary things? It's all glamour in the movies but why can't it happen in real life? Why couldn't I get to do something absolutely amazing and, of course, get a fantastic woman? These guys pick up these girls off ridiculous pick-up lines and if I ever tried them they'd never work. I want to feel accomplished, be able to beat bad guys up without any weapons, speak several different languages, know so much about something I'm an expert, and of course, look great. The thing is, I don't feel capable of doing any of those things. My brain feels completely full and I feel like a freaking moron because i can't seem to learn anymore. It all goes in and goes out. It absolutely drives me crazy, I wish I could be like a computer and delete the junk-mail taking up all my storage and make room for new software. Ahh, why am I complaining so much today, up until this movie, "Sahara" tonight, everything was good, in fact, this week things were going really well. Then all of a sudden, I feel completely crappy. I drove home from the movie and I did something I haven't done forever; I drove the speed limit. Not only that, but from Cornell and Lincoln(I believe it's that) to my house I went 25 mph and below. I completely spaced the entire time and felt like I wasn't even there. Like I had become too overwhelmed with whatever feeling was going on that i stopped everything and spaced out.
I keep eating crappily. I told myself after lent I'd eat sweets sparingly; I've had some everyday. And you wonder why I feel like crap about myself. How can I be happen when I can't keep promises to myself.
And today was such a good day.....I played tennis for like 8 hours and lost, but it was fun. Dang you Nightime slips!!! Weakness, complete weakness.

Wiggles

I like that word. I also like not having school, which is what happened today due to third quarter ending. So for today Jeff and I went on the Job Hunt 2005, in which we created a list of 22 possible employers. Yes that number is large, but considering the rate of acceptance, it might not give us any results. So we drove for about four hours hunting these applications down and by the end of the day successfully completed 10. Not too shaby, seeing as how we had to fill it all out. We also took part in four or five on the spot initial interviews which went pretty well. Overall, I'd say it went very well and P.F. Chang's looks to be the number one bet thus far, we'll see. 12 more to go and hopefully at least one hiring.
Now moving onto tonight. I went to the gym with Megan and that was enjoyable. We chatted while we worked out vigorously, completing at least 40 billion miles in the process. I lost count of the laps we traveled after the first one, but believe me, 40 million is an accurate guess. Then I shimmied over to Glencoe to meet up with the Musical fools and go to Red Robins with them where I was certainly the top awesome-man in attendance. Now there were several men close behind, but none can surpass the DZ awe. That was good food, it would be a pain for Red Robins to deal with that everyweekend, so hooray Musical for only being two weeks.
Also in the news: a duck need we more proof of a waste of resources?!

Another no name?

The highlight of the day was most definitely Andrew Bond's asking of Katie to Prom. He was a good man for coming up with such a creative way. I'll work on that soon enough. Talking to Mr. Ferris about dating was a close second though. For the first twenty minutes of class we talked about dating and being a gentleman and what girls want, pretty good stuff.
Then later I went on a really nice bike ride around 7:30. It was very pleasant, I was listening to music and peddling and things just kind of went by while my mind wandered, I pretty much completely spaced out for that hour of riding. I got pretty far though, Into downtown hillsboro, then to jones farm area, then around basically all of jackson school neighborhood and Evergreen. I'm pretty sure I passed about 15 of my friends houses. I wish I was in California, back in Los Gatos, I'd bike a bunch, all the way across town, and into the hills and everything. The sun would be much welcomed, unfortunately our weather is cold, oh how i miss the warm evening of summer in California. Lovely lovely weather.
I've got several things planned for this weekend, none of which I can recall. I know I've told about ten people I'd be able to do something, but I can't keep them straight, and I can't remember if I doubled up my times.
On a different note, I watch the Village tonight and there is this blind girl in it. I can't even comprehend this blindness deal. I'm walking around without my eyes open and I'm just think how frustrating it'd be to not be able to cheat and open your eyes. OUT

Standing

I officially dropped math today, leaving me almost an hour and a half to myself. So what did I do? I didn't go back to sleep for I had already gotten 12 hours of sleep. Did I watch tv? No I did not watch tv. so what then? I cleaned my house. Straightened all the messes up cleared the dishwasher and loaded it. Then played around on the internet and opened my "Invisible Man" book.
Feeling completely refreshed from my sleep I went to school and had a good time. I read some in Leadership, listened to some music, and scott and I researched more scholarships. Oh yeah, I got into U of O's Architecture program. This is another case for my extreme pensiveness: I got into this school of Architecture, a nationally ranked school- like 11 or something- and I'm not super excited. Sure I'm pleased I'll be able to go, but I was not overly happy or energized from getting in. Plus, its not Stanford. Anneliese got into Stanford. So, Scott didn't get any financial aid, and i only got a grand. We both would like to go for free, so we're going to work it and apply to lots of them.
In other news, Peter Jennings is sick with lung cancer. That means my ABC news with him is going to be severely lacking. It seems everyone is dying these days. First the pope, then this prince guy, now Peter Jennings is on his way. I liked listening to him, now his voice is all raspy, sad.
I ought to spend the rest of my life talking to people. I could do it to. I don't have a problem with talking to people, once I was done with one after a day or two, I'd move onto the next and talk to them. I can talk for a long time about stuff. I'm sure it'd get old after a while, answering the same questions, asking the same.
I talked to Monnizzle about her brother and Architecture. I'm looking forward to seeing where I'm going with this new-found career. Perhaps designing bomb-ass building in Italy, or Deutschland. Creating furniture, designing custom mansions.
I talked with Scott today and I'm thinking building things would be awesome, anyway I can do that. That's why i think it'd be good to work in construction, I want to be able to look at some object and say, yep, I did that. Plus manual labor would be good for me. Who doesn't want to be tan and strong, and good with tools. Then I'd have some sort of experience going into it as well. I'm anxious to see how things will work now. I'm considering getting a powerbook from Mac now. I've heard they work better with these programs necessary in the school, and I can take this dell with me too. Just in case I want the PC stuff too.
Now its 2:30. This blog has taken me forever to write. I'm nothing thinking about much. New people seem to find me somehow and want to talk. I've met three or four people online now, very strange, I'm not used to not knowing people by their face. Oh well, it's a really good way to take people for who they are without judging in person because you have no idea what they look like. They could be people from your group or ones you'd never think to talk to. Quite interesting actually. I just must be a person magnet. Next year I will for sure, I'm going to meet girls who not only are attractive, but are interested in what i am, and have a personality worth getting to know.
Now I'm listening to Radiohead and my mind is wandering because I'm sleepy. Goodnight. Lets talk sometime.

Still awake

I'm still awake and its nearing one. So the thoughts of the night have wondered to and fro. I started out with wondering what is going to happen to me later in life. Greg Schaal and I started talking about how an Architect starts out in a really crappy position, but through gaining tenure they get to be what they had envisioned. I hope I finally stick with something for once in my life and get this to work for me and enjoy it. I'm also wondering about what sort of things I'll accomplish before then. The main idea of the night has been motivation and getting to "where I want." If I got good at guitar I'd be a happy man, I'd love to create something unique and amazing. Listening to Radiohead is some great times, and I can't get over how much I'm enjoying them. They've got a tone a love and wish I could be neat enough to come up with.
I've decided to go out to Five Star and sign up for some guitar lessons and hopefully purchase an acoustic guitar. That'll be a big thing for me, my electric isn't cutting it for me, I can't hear it, and its making me cheat- I'm not pressing hard because the action is so good. So I'll get this acoustic and these lessons then maybe start making real music. This is something I really want.
What else will I accomplish? Who knows kids, who the freak knows. I'm pretty much all talk I've realized, so who knows. I really need to get off my lazy ass and get in shape. Thats where Megan is coming in, I could say no to Scott because it's not as bad being a dick to him and skipping out- although its still not cool I did in the first place of course- as it would be to be it to Megan. So we'll go to the gym and get fit together. Then, if the pictures in my head serve as an idea of where I'll be in a few months of working out everyday(hopefully) I'll be an incredibly attractive, fit boy. That'll make me happy if I follow through with that as well.
So, the key to doing this is going to me following through, which if you've learned anything about thus far its that I am not a reliable person, which makes me so damn crappy. I hate myself for that, I want to punch me because its not an okay thing to be realizing and not changing. Gosh! I need escape these lovely fantasies and make them realities. If I did half of the things I say I will I'd be a happier person.
On a side note I was looking up pictures of angels and came across William Bouguereau. This guy such an amazing artist, and I've decided I'd like to get trained to paint like him. Just what I need, another false dream, stupid mofo! But I was looking through his stuff and it just amazes me, he was incredibly skilled and I love his inspiration, I'd like to sit down and paint then leave, with a painting like that accomplished. I couldn't not brag if I were capable. That guy makes photographs from paint. How the hell does he do it?! It's absolutely fascinating. I'd love to own some of his stuff, as well as others. Italy is a place on my list of places to visit, that and France. Visit the lovely galleries those places hold. Oh yes, I will be king of stupid tourists who annoy the crap out of everyone. But I can picture myself standing in front of one painting for hours as people pass by, getting there in the morning, and standing in front of that same painting for the entire day. I dream too much. I'll never grow out of it either.

Horoscope!

Leo - Your Love Profile Your positive traits: You're almost always the center of attention - and easy for potential dates to spot Your happiness and optimism is appealing to all... and contagious! You don't hold grudges - getting over little fights is no problem for you Your negative traits: You tend to ignore relationship problems, until they are too big to handle You crave luxury, and you are disappointed with partners who can't provide you with it If someone does you wrong, you'll coldly and cruely break their heart Your ideal partner: Someone high status enough to bring you more attention - but not so great that they upstage you Makes you laugh and brings excitement to everything you do together Is aggressive and confident enough to butt heads with you every so often Your dating style: High expectations. You need to be impressed with an incredible first date for a second one to occur. Your seduction style: You like to make the first move - you're fearless about initiating things Passionate. You really get into any intimate act. Aggressive. Most of the time, you find yourself wanting sex more than your partner. Tips for the future: Try to not need so much attention. You'll feel less ignored, guaranteed. Learn to love your parnter for who they are - not how they help advance your life. Let your partner shine occasionally. You don't always have to be the alpha dog. Best place to meet someone online: Platnium Romance - these flirty singles will make sure that you're the center of attention Best color to attract mate: Gold Best day for a date: Sunday Get your free love profile at Blogthings.

Life will work out

I've come to an amazing realization, I don't need math. I should haven't taken cue from Katie earlier in the year and dropped it, but now I've realized how not worth it, it truly is. So this will give me free time to actually be productive; possibly go to the gym, run, walk the dog, do more homework, learn guitar, all of those things that I could be doing instead of school.
Cool experience for me today was at Plaid Pantry, the clerk guy asked me what I was listening to(I had my headphones in) and I told him Radiohead. He told me how much he loved them and how it's affected him, and so I told them about that for me too. It was neat to talk to someone I don't even know and feel fine, it's like Ryan and I were saying: Music is so universal it can relate to just about anyone and influence them. And so this guy from Plaid Pantry and I have had the same thoughts and all, and its pretty rad.
Life will work out.

Let the music seep in

Today was my Job shadow and I had to wake up at 5 to meet Mr. Riordan at the Orinoco max station at 5:45. It was an enjoyable day, Mr. Riordan is quite the man, very cool. His job is much like the stuff we do in my drafting class except more large projects and they only deal with brightly trucks. He mostly deals with drawings in the drivers manuals and such, and instructional pictures. We took a tour of the factory with all the union workers, and man, I wouldn't ever want to do that. I'll assume they are the 45% of glen's seniors who won't be doing anything next year and will end up having to find work to pay bills. A group of them paints the chassis, that is all their job is, sit their for who knows how long, most likely at least 8 hours, spray painting chassis after chassis. How can you do that?! No creativity involved, nothing interesting, its all the same, everyday. GOOD LORD! Even Mr. Reardon's job and his colleague's, I think I'd go crazy not being able to be unique with some aspect, put my own thing into it. But, thinking about it, most every job is like that, you've got a set of things you do and that's about it. Some people have looser restrictions than others, but its pretty much, the only original deal is Art, fine Arts art, like Music and painting/drawing and the like, and writing. So who knows what I'll be doing. Architecture has restrictions, I don't know if I'll want to get stuck into them, the worst thing I can think of is being in a rut. That'd suck, its like freaking lifeless living. It's refreshing to see people who love their jobs though, it gives hope to an unsteady person.
Then I had to ride the max back home and I listened to Radiohead the whole way. I had to catch the blue train connection from the new yellow line, but I missed the connection because I was talking to katie, and so I ended up walking through Portland to get to the max, but before I did, I just wandered for about 20 minutes. It was so awesome, i don't go there enough, its an amazing place and Radiohead set the mood. I just cruised through the streets admiring the city, thinking of how at home I'd be there alone. I am getting into this on my own deal, no one around when I don't want them. And music is just fantastic. I love how it affects me, almost like a drug. And goodness kids, Radiohead is just amazing to me, I've said this several times with other bands, but I can actually see these ones getting me by later in college and stuff. It'll be like Radiohead, Garden State, Mars Volta, and Damien Rice, and when I'm feeling the beat U.S.E. That's all I need these days. They get me by for everymood I'm in.
When I got home I ran a few errands then went to Anneliese's tennis match. While I was there a girl came up to Aubrey asking if she wanted a cupcake, she said no thanks, and I offered to take it. She gave it to me and then told Aubrey to come talk, I didn't take any notice to this and stared into my cupcake looking at its sweet chocolateyness and frosted goodness- and it even had a strawberry on top! So I take a bite and it tastes funny, I don't think much of it other than she's not a good cook and look at it. It's got a jam looking filling so I think, hmm that must be it, meh. So I look and see other girls throwing there's away and spitting it out. It's rigged. I ask what's in it and Aubrey tells me Ketchup. So what do I do? Surely not throw it away, no I teach that girl a lesson, that I am better than that and can handle any prank and enjoy it. So I tell Evan and Aubrey I'm going to eat it anyways, and then stuff it all in my mouth and devour it. My stomach made the contractions like that of throwing up, but I took a breath and dealt with it. Then I looked at the girl and smiled, saying, "thanks for the cupcake, it was delicious." She looked at me in amazement, my job was done. So I left for dinner, and as it turned out Anneliese lost.
Then came the musical, and this year it was so strange for me. It didn't hit me that it was that big of a deal. There were so many familiar faces that it just seemed like something they were playing around with. Like someone said, lets do a musical, and they're like aight, and did it, but didn't make it a huge production. Or so it seemed to me, and this in no way belittle's their skill. Those kids up there are good at what they do, damn good. They sang and danced magnificently. I don't know what it was that gave me the feeling I had, maybe its so early it doesn't seem to fit. But at anyrate, it was strange this year. I'll tell you though, you could tell the girls on dance team, they all had strong strong legs, in an attractive way. The girl who stood out to me, of whom made me come to this realization was Allison Bertelson, so Allison, this is my way of saying you are very pretty and have very nice legs. As did most all of the girls for that matter, some were awfully skinny, but dance team members, you have powerful nice legs. Then end of that. And after the performance I felt strange congratulating everyone. Its like, everyone comes up to you and says, "hey good job, you were awesome" and then its, "hey thanks! we appreciate you coming" "yeah no problem, alright, off to the next person." Like an assembly line, it'd more efficient for me to stand on something and say goodwork. I wanted to say my congrats to some kiddos for doing an amazing job. J.P was the man tonight, he did really well and I think his character was the coolest. Becky came up to me and said thanks for coming and i offered my hand and she gave me a big sturdy hug. You know for all this junk, that hug came to much welcome, and she did it again later. I love myself a strong hug, a long one, that gives you something. Weak hugs are like weak handshakes to me, no one wants one, but you can't overdue it and squeeze someone to death.
So girls? Whats going on with that? I honestly don't know, Megan is a really neat girl but lately I've been feeling like having time to myself, not because of her at all, everyone for me. I just want to disconnect. I'm not depressed, despite the title of this song coming up, and so don't think it!

Thanks Radiohead-
How to Disappear completely

That there
That’s not me
I go
Where I please
I walk through walls
I float down the liffey
I’m not here
This isn’t happening
I’m not here
I’m not here

In a little while
I’ll be gone
The moment’s already passed
Yeah it’s gone
And I’m not here
This isn’t happening
I’m not here
I’m not here

Strobe lights and blown speakers
Fireworks and hurricanes
I’m not here
This isn’t happening
I’m not here
I’m not here